IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion?

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In recent years, climate change is a big interest in
topic
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a topic
the topic
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 that people like debating. critics insist that traditional
energy
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such
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 as
oill
Correct your spelling
oil
, gas and coal play a crucial role in economic growth.
However
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, I personally completely disagree with
this
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 assertion since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 is the best way to solve problems. On the one hand, critics insist that traditional fuels are indispensable for the current generation to grow
economy
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the economy
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.
Firstly
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, oil, gas and coal already have
commercialised
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been commercialised
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 to operate almost all factories and transport;
therefore
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, if businesses
would
Verb problem
do
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 not
use
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 them, it is likely that businesses fall into
the
Correct article usage
a
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deterioration
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deteriorating
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of
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apply
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economy, which citizens' quality of
lives
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life
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 would decrease.
In addition
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, companies spend
astronomical
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an astronomical
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amount
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amounts
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 of
monet
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money
 because companies should change factories and
trasnport
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transport
 that
use
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tranditional
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traditional
resources
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 which
has
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have
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commercilised
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commercialised
commercialized
.
On the other hand
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, there are two major reasons why humans have to
use
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 only
alternative
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energy
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resources
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.
Firtstly
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Firstly
, fossil fuels
the
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are the
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 main culprit of
the
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apply
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environmental pollution because when individuals
use
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 that, they emit
greengas
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green gas
greengages
 and carbon dioxide
in
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into
show examples
air
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the air
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, which deteriorates environmental problems. To explain, cars and
factorieas
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factories
 that businesses
produced
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produce
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make
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to make
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 a large number of industrial
wastes
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waste
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, which leads to marine and air pollution;
furthermore
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,
this
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 circumstance causes many diseases, which people might suffer from.
Additionally
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, the
alternative
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engery
Correct your spelling
energy
 can play a
povital
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pivotal
vital
 role in the alleviation of environmental issues. For
explam
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example
, if the government
enforce
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enforced
show examples
 the legal restriction that people
use
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 only hydrogen or electric cars, the environmental disruption would
be disappeared
Wrong verb form
disappear
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. In conclusion,
while
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it is clear that
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 fossil
fules
Correct your spelling
fuels
 are beneficial for economic development, it is undeniable that
the
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apply
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
resources
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the best to solve environmental problems. In my opinion, humans reduce the
use
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 of traditional
resources
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 and governments should
recommand
Correct your spelling
recommend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more clearly and logically. For example, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports a specific point that contributes to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific industries or countries where alternative energy has been successfully implemented.
Task Achievement
Clarify your ideas further by explaining terms or concepts when needed, such as how exactly fossil fuels contribute to environmental issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You addressed the question by discussing both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of the environmental impact of fossil fuels.
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