IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Global warming has been around our ears for a long time. It is true that searching for alternatives for a better environment and health in the
future
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having a backup plan for non-renewable resources is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intelligent way
sustain
Fix the infinitive
to sustain
show examples
 a country.
Body paragraph 1
Nowadays,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using kinetic
energy
Use synonyms
 from wind or water and heat
energy
Use synonyms
 from sunlight can replace fossil fuels in the
future
Use synonyms
.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
these
Change the determiner
this energy
these energies
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 electrical
energy
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 little to no pollution
being produced
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is a good example to practice a healthy
future
Use synonyms
 lifestyle.
however
Linking Words
, if continuing burning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fossil fuels, the impact will be
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global warming,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
show examples
 be seen in
this
Linking Words
 present time.
Body paragraph 2
it is
understabable
Correct your spelling
understandable
 that some countries' main
resource
Change the noun form
resources
show examples
 are oil and gas.
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition, for them to transition from omitting
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 valuable resources to more green
energy
Use synonyms
 is impossible for them
due to
Linking Words
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 reasons. They feel that if not make use of it will be useless.
Conclusion
overall
Linking Words
, it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 example to apply a better way to conserve our earth for
future
Use synonyms
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
. keep in mind that fossil fuels
such
Linking Words
 as oil, gas, and coal are non-renewable resources and eventually will run out.
This
Linking Words
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fact
that is
Linking Words
 undeniable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that all your main points are logically structured and clearly linked throughout the essay.
task achievement
Make sure all your ideas are supported with specific examples or explanations. At some points, the essay could benefit from additional details to support your arguments.
task achievement
It's important to develop your main ideas more fully to improve clarity. This includes providing a complete response to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You've included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to structure your essay effectively.
task achievement
You've shown an understanding of the significance of this environmental issue and the need for alternative energy.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: