In companies’ promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company, not to someone from outside or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many employees seek to get a
promotion
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, not to add more
responsiplities
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responsibilities
and tasks, but because it is
amajor
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a major
form of
enhance
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enhancing
show examples
employee
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morale. Successful
managment
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management
tend
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tends
show examples
to promote
to increase
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increased
show examples
productivity,
in addition
Linking Words
to more advantages and benefits for the company and the employees. The
employee
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's
promotion
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is a reason for increasing motivation to continue working hard.
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Employee
Fix the agreement mistake
Employees
show examples
will
fell
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feel
show examples
that he belongs to
workplace
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the workplace
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and
thinking
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think
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in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
favor
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favour
show examples
, as
this
Linking Words
is the most important reason to offer
promotin
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promotion
promotions
, which in turn is in
favor
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favour
show examples
of the foundation.
Also
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, when
administration
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the administration
show examples
bromoted
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promoted
the
employee
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, he will feel
in
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apply
show examples
his value in the organization, making him stick
his
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to his
show examples
position.
That
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is helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
Add an article
the organization
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organization
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organizations
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keep skilled
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employee
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employees
show examples
and talented
without
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ones without
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need
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the need
show examples
hiring
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to hire
show examples
new employees, which
provide
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provides
show examples
time and money.
However
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, though
promotion
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from within has
benfits
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benefits
, sometimes hiring externally brings fresh perspectives and new skills that the current team might lack.
This
Linking Words
can foster
innovaton
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innovation
and keep the company
copetitive
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competitive
in changing industries. It is essential to
strick
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strike
show examples
a
blance
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balance
between internal and external hiring : internal
promotion
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can reward and retain talent,
while
Linking Words
external hires can fill skill gaps and bring in new ideas.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
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employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
may not be ready for senior positions, and hiring externally can provide the opportunity to find the best candidate who perfectly fits the job's needs and
chalenges
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challenges
. In conclusion, my opinion
between
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is between
show examples
internal and external promotions.
Submitted by almnghr on

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task achievement
Clarify your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction and conclusion. Adding personal stance will strengthen your task achievement score.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Specific scenarios or cases can enrich your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader.
general
Do a thorough check for grammar and spelling errors to enhance readability and professionalism of the text.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a good introduction that sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points concisely.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both internal promotions and external hiring, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • internal promotion
  • employee morale
  • career advancement
  • corporate culture
  • external candidate
  • fresh perspectives
  • onboarding
  • skill gaps
  • loyalty
  • innovation
  • competitive edge
  • resource allocation
  • smoother transitions
What to do next:
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