In companies’ promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company, not to someone from outside or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Many employees seek to get a

promotion

Use synonyms

, not to add more

responsiplities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

and tasks, but because it is

amajor

Correct your spelling

a major

form of

enhance

Change the verb form

enhancing

show examples

employee

Use synonyms

morale. Successful

managment

Correct your spelling

management

tend

Correct subject-verb agreement

tends

show examples

to promote

to increase

Change the verb form

increased

show examples

productivity,

in addition

Linking Words

to more advantages and benefits for the company and the employees.

Body · 1

The

employee

Use synonyms

promotion

Use synonyms

is a reason for increasing motivation to continue working hard.

Use synonyms

Employee

Fix the agreement mistake

Employees

show examples

will

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

that he belongs to

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

and

thinking

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

, as

this

Linking Words

is the most important reason to offer

promotin

Correct your spelling

promotion

promotions

, which in turn is in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the foundation.

Body · 2

Also

Linking Words

, when

administration

Correct article usage

the administration

show examples

bromoted

Correct your spelling

promoted

the

employee

Use synonyms

, he will feel

Change preposition

apply

show examples

his value in the organization, making him stick

his

Change preposition

to his

show examples

position.

That

Linking Words

is helping

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

Add an article

the organization

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

keep skilled

Use synonyms

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

and talented

without

Correct pronoun usage

ones without

show examples

need

Correct article usage

the need

show examples

hiring

Change the verb form

to hire

show examples

new employees, which

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

time and money.

Body · 3

However

Linking Words

, though

promotion

Use synonyms

from within has

benfits

Correct your spelling

benefits

, sometimes hiring externally brings fresh perspectives and new skills that the current team might lack.

This

Linking Words

can foster

innovaton

Correct your spelling

innovation

and keep the company

copetitive

Correct your spelling

competitive

in changing industries.

Body · 4

It is essential to

strick

Correct your spelling

strike

show examples

blance

Correct your spelling

balance

between internal and external hiring : internal

promotion

Use synonyms

can reward and retain talent,

while

Linking Words

external hires can fill skill gaps and bring in new ideas.

Body · 5

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

Use synonyms

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

may not be ready for senior positions, and hiring externally can provide the opportunity to find the best candidate who perfectly fits the job's needs and

chalenges

Correct your spelling

challenges

Conclusion

In conclusion, my opinion

between

Add a missing verb

is between

show examples

internal and external promotions.

almnghr

Jan 7, 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your position on whether you agree or disagree with the statement in the introduction and conclusion. Adding personal stance will strengthen your task achievement score.

task achievement

Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Specific scenarios or cases can enrich your argument.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure by organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader.

general

Do a thorough check for grammar and spelling errors to enhance readability and professionalism of the text.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a good introduction that sets the stage for the discussion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points concisely.

task achievement

The essay acknowledges both internal promotions and external hiring, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

internal promotion
employee morale
career advancement
corporate culture
external candidate
fresh perspectives
onboarding
skill gaps
loyalty
innovation
competitive edge
resource allocation
smoother transitions

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In companies’ promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company, not to someone from outside or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some parents think that childcare centers provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better careers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.