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Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selectimng and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selectimng and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The chart given above shows us the results of a survey conducted in 5 regions in Australia on the habits of
people
Use synonyms
's
coffee
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 and tea
consumption
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 based on a
4 week
Add a hyphen
4-week
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 time frame. The five regions that the survey was conducted in were
Sydney
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, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart. In the 4 weeks,
Sydney
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 had the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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most
people
Use synonyms
 buying fresh
coffee
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 at 44%
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 having the least
people
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 buying
instant
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coffee
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 at 46%, 60% of
Sydney
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's residents
also
Linking Words
 went to a cafe within the 4 week time period.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Hobart had the highest
consumption
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 of
instant
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coffee
Use synonyms
 at 54%
as well as
Linking Words
 having a relatively low amount of
people
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 buying fresh
coffee
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 at 38%
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
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The
citizens
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 of Hobart were
also
Linking Words
 close to the highest amount of
people
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 visiting a cafe at around 63% with the highest being Melbourne at 64%, only 1% higher. Because of that, Melbourne
also
Linking Words
 came close to the largest
consumption
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 of fresh
coffee
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 at 43%, just slightly trailing
Sydney
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. Adelaide
on the other hand
Linking Words
 had the lowest percentage of
citizens
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 visiting a cafe at only a mere 49% with 50% of their
citizens
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 consuming
instant
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coffee
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 and only 34% of them consuming freshly made
coffee
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. With the information given, we can interpret that despite the 5 states experiencing drastically different numbers of
citizens
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 visiting cafes, the
consumption
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 of
instant
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coffee
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 not too far off from each other with the lowest being only 45% and the highest being 54%, having less than a 10% different from the lowest and highest regions.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 be seen from the
consumption
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 of fresh
coffee
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 with the highest and lowest
consumption
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 only having a 10% difference with
Sydney
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 being the highest at 44%
while
Linking Words
 Brisbane had the lowest at 34%.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, on the other hand, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, consumption, sydney, instant, citizens with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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