IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Technology allowed us to have more ways to communicate. However, some people say that the internet and social network create more opportunities for conflicts and erase the line of respect and appropriateness. To what extent do you agree?

#technology #people #internet #network #opportunities #conflicts #line #respect #appropriateness
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world , technological advancements have transformed the way we communicate, particularly through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and social networks.
While
Linking Words
 these technologies can help us , some people can disagree with
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, online communication is a type of communication, when you can not see
emotions
Correct article usage
the emotions
show examples
 ,
reactions
Correct word choice
and reactions
show examples
 of your partner, it can result in misunderstanding . Tone, body language, and context are frequently absent, which usually can lead to a conflict .
For example
Linking Words
, a simple comment can be read with inappropriate intonation and
then
Linking Words
 inciting unnecessary arguments.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the anonymity provided by social networks can encourage disrespectful
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Users may not be afraid to express their opinions through some offensives.
This
Linking Words
 leads to cyberbullying and often erasing the boundaries of appropriateness.
However
Linking Words
, it is essential to recognize that technology
also
Linking Words
 can be positive and useful. Many people can communicate through the Internet with someone who is remote from them without any difficulties. They
need
Add a missing verb
do need
show examples
 not to spend a lot of time and money to see their friends, they just can send them a message.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the potential for conflict remains significant. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 technology provides enhanced communication opportunities, it
also
Linking Words
 increases risks that can lead to conflicts and lower self-esteem among individuals. To avoid
this
Linking Words
, users can find a balance between using technology and maintaining their messages and comments in our technological world.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure all parts of the task prompt are fully addressed. Dive deeper into how technology can have a positive impact on communication, providing more balanced viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both positive and negative aspects of technological communication, providing a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
A structured introduction and conclusion help to frame the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: