IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many feel that students today should learn Pratical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued by some that students nowadays should learn practical
skills
Use synonyms
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education places
such
Linking Words
 as car manufacturers and managing a bank account.
Although
Linking Words
 some might disagree with the notion;
however
Linking Words
, I completely agree. Not only because of unique honor, but
also
Linking Words
 because of
full filling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
show examples
 their needs.
This
Linking Words
 essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it's a unique talent that anyone can learn and it's
also
Linking Words
 useful in the future.
As if
Correct word choice
If
show examples
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 is studying
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mechanical engineering
as well as
Linking Words
 learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car maintenance at
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
 place they will
also
Linking Words
 have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience in that field without having any job.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous companies require
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 before giving a job and learning
this
Linking Words
 skill at a school will be beneficial at that time.
Thus
Linking Words
, coaching these
skills
Use synonyms
 in an education
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 is really vital for the students.
Secondly
Linking Words
, apart from the
honor
Change the spelling
honour
show examples
, these
skills
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 useful for
Correct article usage
the fulfillment
show examples
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
Change preposition
of the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expenses .
As in nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
 it
really
Add a missing verb
is really
show examples
 difficult to complete the daily expenses because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone is doing the job and the salary is not
higher
Correct word choice
as high
show examples
 as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the expenses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
these
skills
Use synonyms
 can be applied
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 to earn more by working at the carriage and in the bank.
Hence
Linking Words
, from learning these qualities at
coaching
Add an article
the coaching
show examples
 level , the youngsters can
also
Linking Words
 earn more income and can achieve their ambitions. In conclusion,the above evidence made it clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 unbeatable talent and
full filling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
show examples
 the needs in terms of these qualities can be achieved.
And it's
Correct word choice
It's
show examples
 essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students to learn these qualities
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your points are directly linked to the topic throughout the essay. Some parts diverge from the main argument, so try to maintain a clear focus about practical skills and how these particular skills—like car maintenance or managing a bank account—impact students' lives.
task response
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main point with detailed explanations and examples. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task response
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Perhaps consider mentioning how curricula in some schools include practical life skills and the outcomes of such courses.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and ideas to strengthen the logical flow of your essay. Some sentences need to be more clearly connected to create a cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using linking words more effectively. Words like 'thus,' 'hence,' 'for instance' can help connect your ideas better but should be used in accordance to directly follow from previous sentences or ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and bring the points together nicely.
task achievement
You have shown an understanding of the topic by discussing both the benefits of learning practical skills and how they help with employability.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: