there is a growing debate around the topic of participation in international sports competition. Some people believe that due to health concerns people older than 30 years should not be able to participate in Olympics, while others think that restriction is unnecessary. What side do you agree more with?

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There are many arguments about the idea
to set
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of setting
show examples
up an age limit for the
Olympics
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. Some people believe that it will be fair to compete with people who have equal strength to fight. Others think that every person should have the chance to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their dreams without any restrictions. On one hand, as athletes get older, it can be difficult for them to do some stunts because their body is not so flexible. Because of that fact, sportsmen can have many injuries. If the committee of the
Olympics
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approves
aging
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ageing
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restrictions, it will be
more safe
Replace the words
safer
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in
sport
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sports
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competition and athletes won’t face
some
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apply
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serious problems
in
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with
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their
heath
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health
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
decision can be really unfair
for
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to
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those who have some ambitions to be the best in
his
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their
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area, to achieve their goals and prove
themself
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to themself
show examples
that they can do
this
Linking Words
in any case. Older athletes can be in shape with a specially planned diet and steady exercise. Everyone deserves to show their skills on the global stage. In conclusion, I believe that putting an age limit for the
Olympics
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would be against human rights. Everyone should be able to take part in the competitions without feeling left out. If the age limit existed, people wouldn't be so eager to participate in the
Olympics
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because they
won’t
Correct your spelling
wouldn’t
know whether they have enough time to prepare and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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before they turn 30 or not.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, such as famous athletes who have competed successfully after the age of 30.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the connection between sentences is smooth by using linking words and phrases consistently within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with a definitive introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The task has been addressed effectively with coherent points made for both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly summarizes your opinion and ties back to the topic discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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