You recently attended the annual jazz festival in your city which is held in a large park. As you walked from the parking lot to the festival, you saw a man in a wheelchair who was going to the same concert as you. He mentioned that there was no handicapped parking anywhere near the main stage. Write an email to the festival organizer and include the following things: Express your enjoyment of the festival. Explain the need for handicapped parking. Suggest a way to fix the problem.

#jazz #city #park #man #wheelchair #concert #stage #email #organizer #enjoyment

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Dear festival organizer, I would like to explain my emotions about the

concert

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. I had bad days since two months ago and I bought the ticket and I had hoped to change my mood which it did and I am happy. The

concert

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, all the singers, the quality of the sounds, the lights and the atmosphere were perfect which made my night.

Then

Linking Words

, I would like to say thank you for holding

this

Linking Words

amazing

concert

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. The only thing that I can say could be improved is handicapped parking. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

I saw someone in a wheelchair and he struggled to come to the

concert

Use synonyms

Therefore

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, we started talking and he said there was no handicapped parking anywhere near the main stage. So, I think it would be perfect to find a space to build the parking. I would like to recommend you to make a space between parking number 1 and the main stage. So, not only

Add a missing verb

do I

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see many spaces there but

also

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you can fix them easily rather than other spaces.

In addition

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, I studied construction, I fixed many projects like

this

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, you can contact me to fix it. I am looking forward to your response, Niyousha

Submitted by Niyoshakhalili on Wed Jan 08 2025

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advice-coherence-cohesion

Ensure your introduction and conclusion are more distinct and clearly present.

advice-coherence-cohesion

Consider breaking up paragraphs to improve flow and organization.

advice-task-achievement

Expand on your suggestions about how you can help with potential solutions.

advice-task-achievement

Further clarify your point about the impact of the event on your mood.

highlight-task-achievement

You've effectively expressed your enjoyment of the festival, providing a personal touch.

highlight-task-achievement

You clearly identified the absence of handicapped parking and explained its necessity, showing empathy.

highlight-task-achievement

You suggested a practical solution and offered your own expertise, which adds credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

198 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist and not locals. What is the cause? and give solutions.

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. what do you think are the causes of this? can you suggest some possible solutions?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative developent?

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?