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Band 6.5

The pie charts above show the percentages og inductry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

The pie charts above show the percentages og inductry sectors contributed to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.
#show #percentages #og #inductry #sectors #economy #turkey
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The two given pie charts illustrate the proportion of eight different industry sectors’
contribution
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Turkey
Change noun form
Turkey's
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economy
Use synonyms
. The information is given in percentages for 2000 and 2016 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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several changes in the proportion.
Such
Linking Words
 sectors as construction, manufacturing, trade, utilities and transportation, finances, business and other, government were rising in their
contribution
Use synonyms
 to the
economy
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
, there were agriculture, leisure and hospitality sectors, which reduced their
contribution
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. It is evident,
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 largest
sector
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 of the Turkish
economy
Use synonyms
 in 2000 was agriculture
and
Correct word choice
which
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 made up 24%,
while
Linking Words
 in 2016 it was 10% less. The main
Use synonyms
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 of the
economy
Use synonyms
 in 2016
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 healthcare and education
and
Correct word choice
which
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 made up 17% in both years.
The leisure
Correct article usage
Leisure
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 and hospitality decreased
for
Change preposition
by
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 3%
by
Change preposition
in
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the
Change the article
apply
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2016. In 2000 it was 17%.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 downward trend was recorded in the governmental
sector
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. In 2000, it was 12%,
while
Linking Words
 in 2016 it made up 9%. Obviously,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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sector
Use synonyms
 made a significant increase from 3% to 10%.
Also
Linking Words
, manufacturing increased in its
contribution
Use synonyms
 to the
economy
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 and made up 12% in 2016. There was a rise in the trade, utilities and transportation
sector
Use synonyms
 and in the finance, business and other. The former increased to 16%, and the latter expanded to 8%.
Submitted by swetlana4597 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words contribution, economy, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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