IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In countries all over the world, the volume of road traffic is increasing at a faster rate than new roads are built. What are the causes of this problem? What are some potential solutions?

#countries #world #volume #road #traffic #rate #roads
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Street
traffic
Use synonyms
 is a common
problem
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 that
experienced
Add a missing verb
is experienced
show examples
 by every country in
this
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 world, and unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
problem
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 is increasing
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster rather than building a new road. There are several reasons why
this
Linking Words
 kind of
problem
Use synonyms
 happens
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster before the solution.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the causes and the
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 using examples to support the arguments.
Firstly
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, the
number
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 of private
vehicle
Change to a plural noun
vehicles
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 always increasing
year
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 by
year
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. To illustrate, In Indonesia, vehicle companies always release their new product
such
Linking Words
 as
car
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cars
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 and
bikecycle
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bikecycles
show examples
,
while
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 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 about
old
Rephrase
how old
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 transportation
cannot
Verb problem
not
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be
Wrong verb form
being
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 used after several years.
This
Linking Words
 can cause the
number
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 of private
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 always increase
year
Use synonyms
 by
year
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.
Secondly
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, There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 too much effort to make
a new roads
Correct the article-noun agreement
new roads
a new road
show examples
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 should
preparing
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prepare
be preparing
show examples
 too many things like
provides
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 insurance and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
land for
people
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 who used to live in that area. In my opinion, those factors are the causes why street
traffic
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 always developing
while
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 new street has extremely low process. There are several solutions that I can offer to
decreasing
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decrease
show examples
traffic
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.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can make a regulation
for decreasing
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to decrease
show examples
 that
problem
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who love using their private
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
.
For example
Linking Words
, there's a law "Ganjil Genap" or "Odd and Even" in Indonesia, it's used
for decreasing
Change preposition
to decrease
show examples
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 and
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number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
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 who love to
drives
Wrong verb form
drive
show examples
 their own
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 by not allowing
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 with odd or even
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number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 to pass several streets.
It's
Unnecessary verb
It
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force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
show examples
 their citizen to
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 public
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 which
is helps
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helps
show examples
 to
resolving
Change the verb form
resolve
show examples
 road
traffic
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problem
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.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 solution that I suggest is to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of public
tranports
Correct your spelling
transports
transport
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 can
adding
Wrong verb form
add
show examples
 more public
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and make it comfortable to use, so
people
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 would
be prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 to use it.
To sum up
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, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 so many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 why road traffics
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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are sprouts
Wrong verb form
sprout
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world, but
there's
Change the verb form
there are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 many solutions that can be used to deal
it
Change preposition
with it
show examples
.
Submitted by Ulyssa on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, focus on providing more detailed examples, including statistics or expert opinions if possible, to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
For clearer and more comprehensive ideas, consider organizing your essay with distinct paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific cause or solution, and use transitions to connect the ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
In coherence and cohesion, ensure each idea is developed fully with connected sentences. Improve the linking between ideas and paragraphs for a smoother flow.
introduction
The essay provides a clear introduction that sets the stage for discussing causes and solutions to the traffic problems.
task achievement
You have effectively recognized the problem of increasing private vehicle ownership as a primary cause of road traffic issues.
task achievement
The suggestion to implement an 'Odd and Even' regulation to reduce traffic is a practical and relevant solution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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