IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #cultures #people #books #films #internet
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Visiting different countries is not necessary in order to learn about other cultures with the help of several resources.
Although
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this
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 can seem easier, people can find unreliable
information
Use synonyms
while
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 researching. On the one hand, it is possible to acquire knowledge about other people’s lifestyles travel the reason is there are a variety of books, movies and the internet if people want to get new
information
Use synonyms
. These activities are not difficult to do and do not require much time and challenging effort to do. Because if a person needs data about the culture of French society he can easily use French websites.
In addition
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, in
this
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 process, individuals do not need to spend their money and energy on trips .
On the other hand
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, the whole internet is filled with fake and fixed content. In a way of learning about some cultures, people may face inadequate
information
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 which leads to having the wrong opinions about others.
For example
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, if one person has a journey to a new country and gets cultural shock he can distribute inappropriate insight to others. In conclusion,
while
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 social media gives a great. Opportunity to know about unknown cultures, there can be wrong
information
Use synonyms
 as well.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction
Consider expanding your introduction with a more comprehensive background or context to set up the discussion effectively.
supported main points
Ensure that each point introduced in the essay is adequately supported with detailed explanations or examples. This will make your argument more convincing.
accuracy
Be careful with grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies to avoid distractions, even though they are not heavily penalized.
conclusion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points more clearly and reflects the discussion from the body paragraphs.
balanced view
The essay addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of using books, films, and the internet to learn about cultures versus physically traveling.
structure
The essay provides a reasonable structure, with distinct sections for different arguments.
critical thinking
The response recognizes potential for misinformation online, an insightful consideration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural immersion
  • Sensory learning
  • Cost-effective
  • Language barriers
  • Interpersonal interactions
  • Balanced approach
  • Virtual tours
  • Lived experiences
  • Credibility of sources
  • Misconceptions
  • Multicultural competency
  • Stimulate curiosity
  • Digital platforms
  • Stereotypes
  • Environmentally sustainable
  • Hands-on experience
  • Global perspective
  • Biased information
  • Cultural nuances
What to do next:
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