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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about European people of different age groups who went to gyms once a month or more between 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #european #people #age #groups #gyms #month #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates data about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of different age groups of European
people
Use synonyms
 who went to gyms between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is an upward trend in the rate of
people
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 going to the gym, though special growth
witnessed
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is witnessed
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the
Change preposition
in the
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group
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of
Change preposition
apply
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ages
from
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to
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 18-to-24. The age
group
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 from 18-to-24
years
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 old took up 7% of European
people
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 going to gyms in 1990, which was the second-highest rate. It constantly grew and surpassed the
group
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 of 25-to-34
years
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 old in 1998 at 28%. After that, it experienced a significant increase and hit
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak at 58% in 2006 before it slightly dropped to 50% and rose again in 2010. The
25-to-35
Correct your spelling
25-to-35-year-old
years
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 old
group
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 accounted for the highest
percentage
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 of all groups in 1990 at 9%, followed by 18-to-24 and 35-to-44 at 7% and 5%, respectively. It continuously increased to 27% in 1998, which was
three-times
Correct your spelling
three times
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of
Change preposition
apply
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its
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of the observed period. The
percentage
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 rapidly rose to 43% in the next 8
years
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 and
then
Linking Words
 slightly grew to 50% in 2010. There was only 5% of
people
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 from 35 to 44
years
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 old went to gyms in 1990. It unevenly climbed up to 20% in 2002 before
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
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 stable until 2006. It significantly increased to 40% in 2010, representing the
percentage
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 of the
35-to-44
Correct your spelling
35-to-44-year-old
years
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 old
group
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had
Correct pronoun usage
that had
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 been doubled of its 4
years
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 ago. The
group
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 from 45
years
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 old and older accounted for the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentages in the graph throughout the observed period with a growth from 2% in 1990 to 20% in 2010.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, group, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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