IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
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The bar graph presents information about the percentage of weekly income of families in one specific country in 1968 and
in
Change preposition
apply
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2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
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weekly spending on food by households
a
Correct article usage
apply
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significantly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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whereas
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
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housing and leisure time
sharp
Correct word choice
apply
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grew compared to 1968 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, spending money on household goods
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
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 steady in each period given.
In addition
Linking Words
 , the proportion of food was 35% in 1968 but
then
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dramatically declined to approximately 17% in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, housing was 10 % after that a sharp
rose
Replace the word
rise
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 to 17%
while
Linking Words
 expenditures
of
Change preposition
for
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 leisure time remarkably grew to 23% over a period of 50 years.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Household goods remained steady at the same level by approximately 7%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the remaining categories of spending like fuel and power, clothing and footwear and personal was 6%,10% and 8% in 1968,
along with
Linking Words
gradual
Change the word
gradually
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fell
Wrong verb form
falling
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 to around 5% respectively .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, expenditures
of
Change preposition
on
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 transport doubled from 1968 to 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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