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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

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It is argued, that in
this
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 contemporary world, more and more workers lack some basic soft skills
such
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 as communication and working as a team. One of the main reasons for
this
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 emerging problem is
increased
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the increased
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 use of online platforms for making
friends
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,
for
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and for
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work
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 and
hence
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, decreasing social circle. The major effect it has is
decline
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a decline
the decline
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 in
mental
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the mental
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 health of employees and their performance at
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
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. On the one hand, there is no denying
in
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apply
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the fact that as we are progressing towards
modern day
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modern-day
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 technological advancements, we are missing out on making
friends
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 in
real
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the real
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 world as online
friends
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 and virtual reality
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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 allow us to feel the need for physical
friends
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 and social gatherings.
For instance
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, an employee working from home is bound to screen for
major
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a major
the major
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 part of their day and does not communicate with anyone physically. So, it leads to
sharp
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a sharp
the sharp
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 decline in their confidence and
ability
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their ability
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 to
work
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 in
team
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a team
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 is significantly reduced.
On the other hand
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, despite these advances and conveniences human mind is always looking for a friend who is there for them in tough times. If a person lacks communication skills it is directly reflected
on
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in
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 their social life. They become more and more stressed and their brain becomes working less efficiently.
For example
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, my uncle works for a big company and is glued to his computer screen all day .
As a result
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, he has lost relations with
whole
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the whole
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 family and
inspite
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in spite
 of having a big salary, he is not very happy mentally.
Due to
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this
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, he is not able to deliver projects
in
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on
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 time.
To conclude
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,
lack
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the lack
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 of basic soft skills is
due to
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increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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Use synonyms
work from home
Add a hyphen
work-from-home
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 culture and the major effect it causes is on employee's mental health.

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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task prompt, discussing both the causes and effects of a lack of soft skills in the workplace. However, further exploration of additional causes and effects could enhance the depth of the response, such as discussing educational system influences or organizational culture impacts.
task achievement
The ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, but certain arguments can be further developed and elaborated upon for better clarity. For instance, explain more deeply how online interactions specifically erode soft skills.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay maintains logical flow between paragraphs. While the essay is generally coherent, linking phrases could be employed more effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and clear, further development of both could strengthen the essay. The introduction can briefly outline the contents, and the conclusion can summarize key points more succinctly.
task achievement
The essay employs specific examples, such as the anecdote about your uncle, effectively illustrating the arguments made. This use of relevant, real-world examples helps to ground and clarify the essay's points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the context well by mentioning the modern world and the digital shift, which is pertinent to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively encapsulates the essay's main points, reinforcing the discussion on causes and effects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Soft Skills: Attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people.
  • Communication: The imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium.
  • Teamwork: The combined action of a group, especially when effective and efficient.
  • Remote Communication: Communication that occurs when parties are not physically present, often through digital means.
  • Overemphasis: Excessive emphasis on a particular aspect.
  • Individualistic Culture: A social theory favoring freedom of action for individuals over collective or state control.
  • Trickle-Down Effect: The cumulative effect that smaller or marginal changes can have when initiated at higher levels.
  • Competitive Work Environment: A work setting where employees are constantly striving against one another to achieve success.
  • Specialized Job Roles: Positions that require expertise in a narrow field or specific set of skills.
  • Face-to-Face Interactions: Direct, in-person communication between individuals.
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