IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Although some people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the growing population or to develop business and develop the economy of the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Public
parks
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 are cherished by many for their recreational and aesthetic value, yet some argue that these
spaces
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 could be better utilized for residential or commercial purposes to address urban challenges.
While
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this
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 perspective highlights the need for housing and economic growth, the benefits of maintaining public
parks
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 are substantial and multifaceted.
Firstly
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, public
parks
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 are essential for the physical and mental well-being of urban residents. They provide a space for exercise, relaxation, and social interaction, which are crucial for reducing stress and promoting
overall
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 health. In densely populated cities, access to green
spaces
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 offers a much-needed escape from the urban environment, contributing significantly to the quality of life.
Secondly
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, public
parks
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 play a vital role in environmental sustainability. They improve air quality, support biodiversity, and help mitigate the urban heat island effect. These green
spaces
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 act as natural air filters and provide habitats for various species, making cities more resilient to climate change and enhancing the
overall
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 ecological balance. In conclusion,
while
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 the need for residential and commercial development in urban areas is undeniable, the preservation of public
parks
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 is crucial for the well-being of residents and the environment. City planners should seek alternative solutions to accommodate growth without sacrificing these valuable green
spaces
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, ensuring a balanced and sustainable urban future.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, incorporate more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the benefits or drawbacks of transforming public parks into residential or business areas. This would help strengthen your argument and lend more depth to your analysis.
task achievement
Consider providing a detailed, contrasting point of view about the disadvantages of converting park spaces, beyond environmental and social aspects. This could balance your argument and demonstrate consideration of multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs flow into one another more seamlessly, perhaps by employing transitional phrases that connect ideas or thoughts more explicitly, which could enhance the coherence score.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, effectively framing your response and summarizing your position.
task achievement
Main points are strongly supported with sound reasons related to health benefits and environmental sustainability, showing depth of thought.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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