Although some people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the growing population or to develop business and develop the economy of the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that public

parks

Use synonyms

should be used for housing and business development to support the growing population and economy.

While

Linking Words

I acknowledge the importance of urban development, I strongly believe that public

parks

Use synonyms

are indispensable and should be preserved. First of all,

parks

Use synonyms

help the environment. They clean the air by absorbing carbon dioxide and producing oxygen.

Also

Linking Words

, trees and grass make

cities

Use synonyms

cooler, which is useful in hot weather. If

cities

Use synonyms

remove

parks

Use synonyms

, pollution will increase, and

people

Use synonyms

may suffer from health problems.

Secondly

Linking Words

parks

Use synonyms

are important for

people

Use synonyms

’s well-being. Many

people

Use synonyms

go to

parks

Use synonyms

to exercise, relax, or meet friends.

This

Linking Words

helps them reduce stress and stay healthy. In big

cities

Use synonyms

, life is often stressful, so having a quiet green space is very helpful.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is true that

cities

Use synonyms

need more housing and business areas. As the population grows, more

people

Use synonyms

need places to live and work.

However

Linking Words

, removing

parks

Use synonyms

is not the best solution.

Instead

Linking Words

, governments can use empty buildings or other available spaces for development.

This

Linking Words

way, they can grow the city without destroying nature. But if

parks

Use synonyms

disappear,

people

Use synonyms

may feel more anxious and less happy. In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

show examples

some argue that public

parks

Use synonyms

should be turned into residential or commercial areas to support urban growth. Even though housing and business are important, public

parks

Use synonyms

are necessary for a healthy and happy life.

Cities

Use synonyms

should find other ways to expand

instead

Linking Words

of replacing green spaces.

dinazhumanova2001Mon Jan 13 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. Incorporating studies or data relating to health benefits or environmental impact could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that transitional phrases are used effectively to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the logical progression of your ideas.

Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the key points you will discuss. This sets a solid foundation for your argument.

Task Achievement

You effectively highlighted the importance of public parks for environmental and health reasons, which supports your overall argument well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

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Although some people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the growing population or to develop business and develop the economy of the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why is this the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages? Keywords: health Type: Advantages & Disadvantages

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

ome people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school Program (for example working for a charity, Improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?