Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some
students
Use synonyms
thrive to learn other
subjects
Use synonyms
While
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they studying for their main
course
Use synonyms
. Others
bellere
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believe
is better for
leaners
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learners
show examples
to
focuse
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focus
in
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on
show examples
theif feild
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the field
of study.
This
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essay will
discusse
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discuss
both views
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe it's better to have an open mind and learn other
subjects
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. On the one hand, Most
students
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who attended university prefer to
stady
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study
stay
and give their energy to their major and why I think they like
this
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way because that will let them
focuse
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focus
on their
feild
Correct your spelling
field
of study and they don't get distracted by other
subjects
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and eventually
loss
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lose
show examples
their time and energy
also
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may fall and loss marks.
For example
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,
people
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for people
show examples
who study medicine and wish to be
a
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apply
show examples
doctor
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doctors
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one day it will be ideal for them to not take other lessons in different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, others believe is
Important
Fix capitalization
important
show examples
for
students
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to try other
subjects
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While
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they studying their main
course
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.
Number
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A number
The number
show examples
of universities provide limited hours if one student
want
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wants
show examples
to take
extra
Add an article
the extra
an extra
show examples
course
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and by doing it in
this
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way we can ensure
students
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can take
othere
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other
courses
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
their own main
course
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and make sure they can handle it. For
Instence
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instance
,
students
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could use help from their
superviser
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supervisor
and give the
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
about which suitable to take based on their academic plan. In conclusion, some People would like to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
Use synonyms
subjects
Change preposition
in subjects
show examples
addition
Change preposition
on addition
show examples
to their main
subjects
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while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
would
Prefer
Fix capitalization
prefer
show examples
to spend their energy only
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their main
course
Use synonyms
. I believe
students
Use synonyms
should try to expand their
knowldge
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knowledge
while
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studying their major.
Submitted by m.ixi6006 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs. Each paragraph should build naturally on the previous one.
task achievement
Work on providing more clear, specific examples to support your points. This will improve the task response score. For instance, instead of saying "some People would like to enroll subjects," give examples like "a medical student might take a business course to understand healthcare management."
task achievement
Ensure that ideas are fully developed, providing sufficient reasoning in your arguments. Expanding upon why learning multiple subjects is beneficial can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is a strong point as it provides a clear framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have effectively included a discussion of both views, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The conclusion explicitly contains your opinion, aligning with the requirements of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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