IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own styles. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #houses #areas #authorities #styles
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It is
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
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 dream to build and own their own house.Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that newly
build
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built
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 houses should be similar to those ancestral houses in their local community.
While
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,
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apply
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others advocate that local governments should encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to construct their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 with their own
designs
Use synonyms
.In
this
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 following essay ,both points will
be tackle
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be tackled
be tackling
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 and I will share my own opinion. On the one hand, many individuals say that newly built houses should have the same style as same as old buildings.
This
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 is because
for
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of
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uniformity
Correct article usage
the uniformity
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 of structures
as well as
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 no discrimination among
people
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 living in that particular area.
For instance
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 ,in a particular village or subdivision
people
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 owning a house with
same
Add an article
the same
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 structure of dwelling in the community are living happily when compared to other communities who are living in different kinds of abode based on their economic status,taste and preference.
On the other hand
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, as we all know
that
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apply
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technological influence impacts the perspective of the majority of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 when it comes to the
designs
Use synonyms
 of their dream
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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.The reason for
this
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 is the shift of choices and a lot of
people
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 to different countries around the world and exploring several accommodations and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of modern structures.One example is the evolution of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 architectural
designs
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 popular and accessible online ,
thus
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 they are getting attracted and they tend to apply the
designs
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 they found in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media. In conclusion, though the construction of the same units in the residential area helps the public to live without any conflicts and insecurities ,it is really essential to respect the choices of other
people
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 to implement their own creative ideas
while
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 building a new house.I firmly believe that everyone should have the freedom to plan and design their own abode without any hesitations and restrictions ,as it is an ultimate
drem
Correct your spelling
dream
drum
 for many individuals.
Submitted by xoxoxobels on

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coherence cohesion
Consider clearly separating and fully developing each argument within each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure to fully elaborate on your main points and support them with more specific and detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Follow a clear and consistent logical structure in your essay to enhance understanding and flow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction efficiently outlines the two perspectives and states your opinion clearly.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion, adhering to the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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