IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in 1985 and 2003.

The chart below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in 1985 and 2003.
#show #percentage #energy #resources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart illustrates the comparison of
energy
Use synonyms
 production from various
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as gas, coal, hydrogen, nuclear, oil and other renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 between 1985 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, when considering all the figures,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 oil produced the largest proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 in both years
while
Linking Words
 renewable and hydrogen
sources
Use synonyms
 had the smallest representation. At the onset, it is evident that, the maximum proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed by oil.
However
Linking Words
, there was a dramatic change in 2003 which accounted for 39%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, natural gas and hydrogen
sources
Use synonyms
 showed the same percentage in both years which generated 13% and 4% respectively. Looking at
further
Linking Words
 details, a minority of
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated by other renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 in 1985. But, in 2003, the percentage was inclined to 4%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, nuclear
sources
Use synonyms
 produced just over a fifth proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and in 2003, the ratio declined to 17%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, coal consumed 8% and 13% of
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and 2003.
Submitted by karanbadwal3233 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, sources with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: