2. Some people say that rich country should give money to poor country. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People's perspectives on the responsibility of rich
countries
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to fund poor
countries
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differs
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differ
show examples
. It is often argued by some folks that
countries
Use synonyms
should be accountable for other
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nations
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nations'
nation's
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
conditions. Meanwhile, other believes that it is much more sensible for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
to take on the responsibility.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore both sides before presenting a logical opinion. Those who argue that the wealthy
needs
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need
show examples
to support
under privilege
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
show examples
nations
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have their reasons.
First,
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cross
Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
collaboration can enrich economic growth.
For example
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, Indonesia has an agreement with China to conduct an infrastructure enhancement.
Hence
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, the support can improve
citizen
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citizens
show examples
lives and work as an economic igniter.
Moreover
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, some
nations
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are involved in ongoing wars,
therefore
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they are unable to perform a normal economic
condition
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conditions
show examples
and need help from
neighboring
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neighbouring
show examples
countries
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.
On the other hand
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, advocates the view that
individual
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individuals
show examples
or
citizen
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citizens
show examples
should be the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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who take
actions
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action
show examples
toward helping
under privilege
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
show examples
nations
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. First of all, the bureaucracy is very complex within the government,
therefore
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it is more
straight forward
Correct your spelling
straightforward
show examples
and easy if individuals can contribute directly.
Furthermore
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, giving money is not a permanent solution.
Hence
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, voluntary activities will be more beneficial in the long term.
To conclude
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,
although
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people have different opinions regarding the statement, I favour
cross
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
nations
Change noun form
nations'
nation's
show examples
subsidy
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subsidies
show examples
because it can be an economic igniter.

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task achievement
To enhance task response, make sure to delve deeper into each viewpoint to cover the benefits and drawbacks, thereby providing a more nuanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more linking words and phrases to further connect ideas smoothly and reinforce the logical progression of arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up a balanced discussion on the views regarding financial responsibility towards poorer nations.
task achievement
Examples provided, like the Indonesia-China infrastructure agreement, help support the points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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