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Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #newport #city #centre #summarise #information #features #comparisons #re #evant
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The line chart
summarize
Change the verb form
summarizes
show examples
 the differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 incident numbers between
burglary
Use synonyms
, car theft and
robbery
Use synonyms
 in Newport city centre in 9 years
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2003 until 2012. The number of
burglary
Use synonyms
 and car theft incidents are higher than the
robbery
Use synonyms
 respectively, even though
burglary
Use synonyms
cases
Use synonyms
 had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 reduction until 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
robbery
Use synonyms
 incidents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the most sloping and there is no significant difference in increase or decrease
Use synonyms
cases
Change preposition
in cases
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the crimes faced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes every year, either increasing or decreasing. The
burglary
Use synonyms
cases
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in the first year of 2003 to 2004,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased in the following years until 2008 and had slopped after that.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car theft is the second
higher
Correct word choice
most common
show examples
Use synonyms
cases
Fix the agreement mistake
case
show examples
 in Newport
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increasement
Correct your spelling
increasing
 and
decreasement
Correct your spelling
decreasing
. The
last
Linking Words
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery
Use synonyms
 had
static
Correct article usage
a static
show examples
 rate from 2003 to 2012.
Submitted by rhisaaidilla on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, robbery, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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