Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #enjoable #job #money #salary #life

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It is becoming increasingly common for people to get valuable jobs in

this

Linking Words

era. There are some advantages for someone to have a relaxing activity, but I think taking an appointment with a high salary is more interesting than working slowly in

this

Linking Words

life. There are many reasons for people to have projects with good income.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the life quality can increase rapidly. You can buy healthy food and

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

exercise in a comfortable place.

Additionally

Linking Words

, travelling is interactive things as well. Buying some tickets to go abroad is easy for them. Discovering any place in the world can raise your mood and mental health.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a person who chooses to enter a hard appointment is more dangerous than a convenience company.

First,

Linking Words

high pressure can happen anytime in there. Maybe you get a bonus with good value.

However

Linking Words

, it is related to high homework in your office.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it can have more impact on your personal life.

For instance

Linking Words

, your family time can decrease slightly. Sometimes your wife or children want to go to the mall or cinema at the weekend, but you are still very busy with your business. All in all, I prefer to apply people who want to be an employee, they have to make their way with a good salary. Even though there are some disadvantages regarding applying overload

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

over time, I think convenience outweighs any drawbacks.

Submitted by rodhi.kelvianto14 on Thu Jan 16 2025

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, work on enhancing the logical flow between your ideas and use more linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs better.

task achievement

While your essay addresses both views, some points are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. Consider expanding on your arguments and providing more relevant examples.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your main viewpoint, which provides a good structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?