IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

#buildings #law #part #nation #history #people #ones #houses #offices #progress
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To begin
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 with, many historical buildings are protected by law ,
however
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 , there is a particular amount of people who don’t like it in terms of industrialisation. An efficient part of society thinks that it is not essential to remember our past, and they would prefer to have more offices and residential buildings to be built. The population will always have disagreements with each other. People have to find solutions to the future of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ancient constructions. From people’s perspective , it is not honours to get rid of the part of our past.
For instance
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, tourists won’t have excursions any more, the population will stop learning history ,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 will not have examples of what was left of that time. Humans who are working as an exhibition guide and etcetera will just
loose
Replace the word
lose
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 their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, and won’t have money for the government to pay taxes and bills, following that, the country won’t have money.
Such
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 changes will lead to riots among the citizens inner the country. From the other point of view, it is important to
contain
Verb problem
have
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 enough palaces to live and work. As an example big cities which has a dense population, there isn’t enough space for all the citizens to comfortably exist. Some of them might want to open their own business ,
however
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, there is a lack of space, or let’s say that the rent for the flat is too high and there is a lack of options where else to move. Considering that our world is rapidly developing we have to have enough offices and more places for immigrants and society to work. Government have to care about
this
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 sort of thing
,
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apply
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because everyone has to feel comfortable and free in the place they are located. In my opinion
is that
Verb problem
,
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 the ancient constructions have to be prioritised because without that rich
history
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history,
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 we wouldn’t have
such
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 an innovative current time.
Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
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 statements are essentially important and the country has to pay attention
on
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to
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 each of those.
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task response
The essay should address the questions more directly. Make sure to clearly state your stance and explore both sides of the argument in equal depth.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will make the logical progression of the essay clearer.
task response
Use specific examples to support points. For instance, referring to specific historical buildings and their cultural or economic impact could strengthen the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets the theme of the essay smoothly, introducing the debate around historical buildings versus modern needs.
task response
The essay attempts to weigh the preservation of history against the needs for modernization, which addresses the core task.
coherence and cohesion
The essay closes with a conclusion that summarizes the writer's stance, which is good for coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Heritage conservation
  • Cultural landmarks
  • Architectural integrity
  • Sustainable development
  • Urban regeneration
  • Historic edifice
  • Adaptive reuse
  • Urban sprawl
  • Civic pride
  • Cultural identity
  • Aesthetic value
  • Preservation vs. Progress debate
  • Innovative restoration
  • Community engagement
  • Economic revitalization
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