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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below gives information on the percentage of british people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The bar chart below gives information on the percentage of british people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The bar chart provides information about the rate of the British population giving money to
a voluntary organisations
Correct the article-noun agreement
voluntary organisations
a voluntary organisation
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 by age of around between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the period , people the percentage of (36-50)
aged
Replace the word
age
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 was the highest segment,
while
Linking Words
 the ratio of (18-25)
aged
Replace the word
age
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 made up the smallest part.
In contrast
Linking Words
 ,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, people aged (51-65) were comprised of the largest sector and the lowest Figure came from the age (
of
Change preposition
apply
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18-25). In 1990, The citizens aged (51-65) were around 40% and showed
Correct article usage
an increased
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increased
Replace the word
increase
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 to almost 49% in 2010.
Moreover
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, the aged less than 65 made up about 32% and grew slightly to almost 35% in 2010. In 1990, the number of people who were (18 to 35 ) was 16 % and 31% respectively, and these figures fell nearly to 6% and 24 singly in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, (36-50)aged accounted for 43% and dropped moderately to 35% in 2010.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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