In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is a true fact,

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

rates of elderly

people

Use synonyms

will increase rather than the

youngsters

Fix the agreement mistake

youngster

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rates in lots of nations in the years to come.

While

Linking Words

there are some critical issues in

this

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situation, but not many advantages here. On the one hand,

this

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issue can pose some difficulties to

government

Correct article usage

the government

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and society,

such

Linking Words

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of workforce and

emotionally

Replace the word

emotions

show examples

For instance

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, some municipalities of countries offer men to their countries for marriage with national girls because of

rates

Fix the agreement mistake

rate

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of birth is decreasing day by day. Even propose some cash and houses for foreign men who marry

with

Change preposition

apply

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international girls from different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

other

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

countries. In recent days, so many towns

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

not

Add a missing verb

had more

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men than women, leading

some

Change preposition

to some

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stress and discouragement among some girls emotionally .

This

Linking Words

totally

Add an article

a totally

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negative development.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

going to be

true

Add an article

a true

show examples

fact, the proportion of older

people

Use synonyms

growing than younger

people

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

, there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not many benefits for society.

However

Linking Words

, the main benefit for

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

is elderly

people

Use synonyms

working in education systems, particularly high

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

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and universities. Because we

are needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

teachers and professors to teach some young generations about different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of subjects. In conclusion, if government interventions and individual efforts try to combat

this

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problem, maybe there are some solutions to remove it.

However

Linking Words

, there are so many drawbacks here.

makemoneyizzy16Sat Jan 18 2025

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coherence cohesion

Develop a clearer structure for your essay. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main point.

task achievement

Offer more detailed examples and explanations to support your main points.

task achievement

The essay does attempt to address both sides of whether an aging population is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion on this topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than younger people in many countries. Is this a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Question: Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some people say football players who have talent are the best. Others say players who learn the skill are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Sport is always relevant in our time, sport is our life in general.