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Band 5.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#information #population #zealand #age #group #formation #features #comparisons
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The table provides key information about residents of New
Zealad
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Zealand
in
tow
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two
show examples
 years
respectivley
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respectively
 by age group. The units are measured in percentage .
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
group of 40-64 has
most
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the most
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 increased percentage.
In addition
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 , the
ages
Use synonyms
 from 15-39
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the major values in 2011,
whereas
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 the
ages
Use synonyms
 above 65 years had the lowest values in the table.
According to
Linking Words
waht
Correct your spelling
what
 is shown, the
ages
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 40-
64
Change preposition
to 64
show examples
 have increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
eigh
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eight
show examples
thousand
Use synonyms
 persons in 2012 .
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , the
ages
Use synonyms
 above 65
also
Linking Words
incrased
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increased
 by 4 % and
also
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 ,it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major increasing between the others . In terms of the other
catogaries
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categories
,
ages
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 from 15-39 have slightly decreased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 three
thousand
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persions
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people
, forthermore,
ages
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underfifteen
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under
 have
also
Linking Words
 declined by
approximetly
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approximately
tow
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two
show examples
thousand
Use synonyms
 .
IN
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In
show examples
 sum , all
ages
Use synonyms
 have increased by +0.6 % , about thirty
thousand
Use synonyms
 persons.
Submitted by pha18m35 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ages, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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