The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in school in order to tackle the problem of overweight children ? Do you think this the best way to deal the problem ? what other solutions can you suggest ?
Today we will discuss the topic that why there is a need to focus on the increase of timing of
sports
in the Use synonyms
schoo
in order to tackle the problem of overweight Correct your spelling
school
children
.I totally support Use synonyms
this
idea as a great measure to help Linking Words
children
maintain Use synonyms
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
weight
.
Use synonyms
Sports
should be compulsory in schools.Use synonyms
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
childern
eat fast food.Correct your spelling
children
Children
play games on computers when they return home.If schools will add Use synonyms
sports
to their everyday life they can maintain normal body Use synonyms
weight
.Use synonyms
For
Linking Words
example
if a child eats 3000 calories a day and he or she can burn 500 calories Add a comma
example,
while
doing some Linking Words
sports
at school Use synonyms
this
can prevent Linking Words
further
Linking Words
weight
gain.
Not only Use synonyms
adding
Add a missing verb
does adding
sports
to Use synonyms
school
routine Correct article usage
the school
will
help Verb problem
apply
over
Correct your spelling
overweight
weight
Use synonyms
children
to lose Use synonyms
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
weight
but some other measures are Use synonyms
also
important.Schools should do more activities for Linking Words
this
cause Linking Words
for example
,Parents and Linking Words
children
both should be educated regarding clean eating and Use synonyms
importance
of water intake.Correct article usage
the importance
Use synonyms
children
should not be allowed to have fast food Capitalize word
Children
everyday
in their Replace the word
every day
lunchboxes
.
Now Correct your spelling
lunch boxes
i
would like to talk about the role of parents regarding Change the capitalization
I
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
healthy
Correct article usage
the healthy
weight
of Use synonyms
children
.Parents should take their kids to Use synonyms
park
after their Correct article usage
the park
last
meal of the day.Mothers should help their Linking Words
children
have good eating habits by cooking Use synonyms
home made
food for them.
Correct your spelling
homemade
Lastly
Linking Words
i
would like to suggest that it is very Change the capitalization
I
importamt
for Correct your spelling
important
children
to Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
do
sports
in their school Use synonyms
this
will not only help them to have Linking Words
healthy
body but they will Add an article
a healthy
also
acquire Linking Words
healthy
brain.Add an article
a healthy
Sports
is important and it should be promoted.Use synonyms
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coherence
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider organizing your ideas into paragraphs with distinct main points that logically flow from one to the next.
task response
Try to expand on your ideas and provide more in-depth analysis or examples. This will help to make your arguments more compelling and your task response more complete.
language use
Make sure to proofread your work to catch any small grammatical or spelling errors that could distract from your arguments.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points well.
task response
You have provided several suggestions for addressing the issue of overweight children, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task response
You successfully discuss the role of both schools and parents in promoting healthy habits, demonstrating a well-rounded approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.