IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries even though the rate of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

#countries #rate #crimes #people #measures
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Although
Linking Words
 the numbers of serious crimes are
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
show examples
,people in certain countries still feel
afraied
Correct your spelling
afraid
now than ever
befor
Correct your spelling
before
.we gonna demonstrate the reason
behiend
Correct your spelling
behind
 it and how to overcome it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 feeling.The
goverment carring
Correct your spelling
government carries
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge
burdden
Correct your spelling
burden
 of that since the
law
Use synonyms
 did not
applied
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
 properly
over
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country .
Although
Linking Words
 there is a
decreased
Change the form of the verb
decrease
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of crimenal,the citizen still feel unsafe,
In addition
Linking Words
, the psychological
backgroung
Correct your spelling
background
 of people specially in
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
witnessed
Correct pronoun usage
that witnessed
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of war and hard
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
,
iraqi
Change the capitalization
Iraqi
show examples
 people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
faced the 80s war and
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 through
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of challenges
such
Linking Words
 as killing on identity and bombing.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 hard to convince them
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 safety now .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,to solve that kind of
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
 problem there
increase
Verb problem
is
show examples
Correct article usage
a needs
show examples
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 to apply the
law
Use synonyms
 properly regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 background ,place and religion of the perpetrator .
Moreover
Linking Words
 takes
a real actions
Correct the article-noun agreement
real actions
a real action
show examples
 against the crime committer to show the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 is applied .Increase
awearness
Correct your spelling
awareness
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
consquance
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 of
admity
Correct your spelling
admit
amity
admits
criem
Correct your spelling
crime
 or breaking the
law
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
UAE
Correct article usage
the UAE
show examples
 is one of the safest
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 in the world the reason behind it the mutual trust between the trio (individual, the local
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 and
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
).
lastly
Linking Words
 creating an emergency call number to help in
Correct your spelling
critical
crucial
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
 situations and
Correct your spelling
promote
promot
Correct your spelling
promote
 safety
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay lacks a clear and structured introduction and conclusion. Try to succinctly state your main idea in the beginning and summarize your points at the end. This will create a more defined framework for your ideas.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of grammar and spelling. The essay contains several errors, such as "criemnal," "backgroung," and "awearness." Proofreading or using a spell checker can help rectify these mistakes.
logical structure
Enhance logical structure by organizing your ideas clearly with the use of paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific point and have a clear purpose that supports your thesis.
relevant specific examples
Expand on your examples for clarity and relevance. The example of the UAE could be developed further to explain how specific measures contribute to safety.
task achievement
You have addressed both causes and solutions, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the task.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples, such as Iraq and UAE, shows an attempt to connect your ideas to real-world situations, enhancing the relevance of your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • public fear
  • sensationalized
  • media literacy
  • perception
  • social tensions
  • economic inequality
  • instability
  • prevention
  • community policing
  • public awareness
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • urban density
  • political rhetoric
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