IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world’s fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#prices #fuels #decade #two #increases #fuel #world #consumption #pressure #world’s #resources
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In recent years, it has been observed that there has been a rise in the number of
people
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to
Change the verb form
using
show examples
use
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 it and it
from
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is from
show examples
 the surge in petroleum costs and its impact on various aspects of our daily lives.It is mostly argued that raising the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 is the most
effictive
Correct your spelling
effective
 way for reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wrold
Correct your spelling
world
 consumption. In
this
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 essay, it will be argued that a balance between elevating
fuel
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 costs and promoting the adoption of renewable
energy
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 is
portant
Correct your spelling
important
 for achieving both economic stability and environmental sustainability. First of all, it is argued that the rising
cost
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 when we select to
use
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fuel
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.It is important for us to get
know
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to know
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 the popular.
For
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From
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 my
experiences
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experience
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, my family loves driving
verey
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very
 much.
Although
Linking Words
 the Hong Kong government
rising
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raising
show examples
fuel
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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. My parents still
remain
Verb problem
continue
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 to drive. Rasing the
cost
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 is not efficient to
people
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use
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 less
fuel
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
another method
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other methods
show examples
 for us to control
fuel
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
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 alternative sources of
energy
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, which can offer a more sustainable solution without the negative financial impacts
with
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of
show examples
 high
energy
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 expenses. It is supported by the
example
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 of countries which have invested
lot
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a lot
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 in renewable power.China is one of the
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example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
.China used wind
energy
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for
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to
show examples
 supply
electronic
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electronics
show examples
.There are some
windmill
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windmills
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 for providing.China found that it is more cheaper
comparin
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compared
 with using
fuel
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.
According
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According to
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this
Linking Words
example
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, promoting more ways to save
consumpt
Correct your spelling
consumption
.Japan are
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
an
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example
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 to
supprt
Correct your spelling
support
this
Linking Words
 argument. Solar
energy
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 is the most abundant of all
energy
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 resources and can even be harnessed in cloudy weather.It is
eco-unfrienly
Correct your spelling
eco-friendly
 for Japan to
use
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 solar
energy
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.
Although
Linking Words
 it reduces the
cost
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, some of
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energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
eco-unfriendly
Replace the word
eco-friendly
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. In conclusion,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 are not useful for
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the price for
energy
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 expenditures to reduce consumption.A balanced approach that both higher power source expenses and the courage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
useing
Correct your spelling
use
 renewable power is essential for the sustainable development of
people
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 and societies.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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clarity
Attempt to provide more clarity in your arguments by revisiting the thesis statement for a clearer stance. You could also clarify connections and transitions between different points to enhance coherence and cohesion.
structure
Enhance the structure by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports the thesis statement. More coherent transitions between thoughts would make the essay flow better.
examples
Provide more detailed examples with explanations to support your points, which will improve both task achievement and clarity of your arguments.
examples
The essay includes relevant examples to support the argument, such as the mention of renewable energy initiatives in China and Japan.
structure
The essay attempts to introduce both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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