The graph shows in percentage terms of pattern terms the changing of domestic access to modern technology in homes in Uk

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IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph shows in percentage terms of pattern terms the changing of domestic access to modern technology in homes in Uk
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Given line
graph
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

illustrates the proportion of changing
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends

It seems that trend may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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local access to modern
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in living areas in the United Kingdom. As can be seen from the
graph
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
pattern
Add an article
the pattern
a pattern

The noun phrase pattern seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for all modern
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment

It appears that equipments is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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was upward during given time from 1996 to 2003. Beginning of the timeline,
CD
Add an article
the CD

The noun phrase CD player seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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player was the most popular
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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UK homes and it
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb maintain. Consider changing it.

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its popularity till
end
Add an article
the end

The noun phrase end seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of the
graph
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Beginning at
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
60% CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players

It seems that player may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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showed about 20% growth during
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period.
Second
Correct article usage
The second

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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most popular
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

was home computers which started at about 30% and it reached well below
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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60%. In 1996, the least popular mobile phone depicted a rocket-like growth from just under 20% to roughly 70%.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Internet access
did
Verb problem
was

There may be a verb use issue here.

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not
invent
Wrong verb form
invented

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb invent. Consider changing it.

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in the 1996-97 period,
after
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

invention people showed huge interest
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and it reached at well considerably more than 40%
in
Change the preposition
at

The preposition in may be incorrect. Consider changing it to a different preposition.

show examples
the end of the
graph
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, technology with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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