IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Information technology enable many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
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In
this
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 day and age,
technology
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 has affected
people
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 to live more easily and efficiently,
technology
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becoming
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 the leading for many aspects of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In
this
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 essay, I will look deeply
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 both sides which are drawbacks and benefits. First of all, there is no doubt that the majority of
people
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 these days use
technology
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 for anything.
This
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 is because
technology
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 can make it easy to
work
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 and communicate.
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Work
Wrong verb form
Working
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 from anywhere
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 more popular around the world because of
technology
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,
people
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 can easily deal with jobs and
work
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 remotely. To illustrate, some countries like Indonesia have phenomena
undergraduate
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of undergraduate
show examples
 inflation, so citizens find it hard to find jobs in their own country
and
Correct word choice
which
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 will encourage
people
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 to find remote jobs from outside countries.
Additionally
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,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 remotely can affected for reduce traffic
jam
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jams
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 in busy
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their
work
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 at home or cafe and not make them have to go office which usually majority
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
show examples
 located in
Correct article usage
the central
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central
Replace the word
centre
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 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 and crowded. Both of the drawbacks of information
technology
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, employees who
work
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 from anywhere
such
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 as
home
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at home
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, cafe, or when travelling are mostly hard to focus.
This
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 means that
people
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 can get distracted from their environments.
For example
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,
people
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 who
have
Verb problem
are
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marriage
Replace the word
married
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 and
work
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 at home often gain
disturb
Wrong verb form
disturbed
show examples
 from their children or family and will decrease their performance
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
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.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 who
work
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while
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 travelling can get unstable networking
due to
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 generally
people
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
beach
Fix the agreement mistake
beaches
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 or
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
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, so
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can get poor
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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even
Correct word choice
and even
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 lost
signal
Fix the agreement mistake
signals
show examples
. To summarize,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 they have two negative indicators for community
work
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 outside their office
such
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 as getting disturbing and poor signals. Despite these drawbacks,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from anywhere is very useful for
people
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 who
work
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 remotely from outside countries and
technology
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 encourages
people
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 to communicate easily.
Submitted by studyabroad639 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central idea and avoid mixing points within the same paragraph.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as general statements can weaken your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can obscure your meaning.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear context for the discussion and outlines what the essay will cover.
complete response
There is an attempt to consider both disadvantages and advantages, showing a balanced view.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and offers a clear final opinion.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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