IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What is the reason for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

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It has been commented that juvenile criminal cases are increasing day by day around the world.
This
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 situation has many causes
such
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 as
overuses
Correct subject-verb agreement
overuse
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 of social
netwrorking
Correct your spelling
networking
 sites
as well as
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 liberal punishments from the government.
However
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, it can be minimized by supervising children under the guidance of parents and teachers. Let us delve deeper into both root causes and solutions in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are multiple reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 rising
crime
Use synonyms
 rates in the minor age group of people. First and foremost, more and more advancement of technology leads to
overuses
Wrong verb form
overuse
show examples
 of internet among the kids under 18 years, it
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
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 distraction from
acedemics
Correct your spelling
academics
 and concentrates on
ilegal
Correct your spelling
illegal
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
.
For example
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, research conducted internationally
demonstarted
Correct your spelling
demonstrated
 that nearly 30-40% of users are kids who involved in
cyber
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
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crime
Use synonyms
 activities in the
last
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 three years.
Moreover
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, another
alaraming
Correct your spelling
alarming
 factor for
this
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 trend is liberal punishments for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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youth
crime
Use synonyms
.
In that
Change preposition
That
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,
although
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 younger individuals are aware
about
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of
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 the consequences of getting involved in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminal activities, they ignore it
due to
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less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 damnations.
However
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,
this
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 phenomenon can be tackled by the support of guardians
such
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 as parents and
teaches
Replace the word
teachers
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, who can play a vital role in reducing these numbers.
Firstly
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, they can supervise the students in order to track their activities and
also
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encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them towards the vocational
trainings
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training
pieces of training
show examples
. For
instace
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instance
, if
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 or colleges arrange more frequent sports events
then
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 it will
be diverted
Wrong verb form
divert
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 the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 of children towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
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outdoor games.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the authorities can reconsider the penalty rules for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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minor kids to
minimizing
Wrong verb form
minimise
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crime
Use synonyms
 rates over the globe.
To conclude
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, it can be eventually commented that youth is the present and future of any nation but
Correct article usage
the
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rapidly
Change the word
rapid
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 incline in
ilegal
Correct your spelling
illegal
 cases can not be overlooked. The potential causes of
this
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 trend
is
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are
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constant
Add an article
the constant
a constant
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 use of
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 and generous retributions
where as
Correct word choice
which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be managed by
strenghthing
Correct your spelling
strengthening
strengthing
 law rules for
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the actively
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actively
Change the word
active
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 involvement of family members and educators.

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task achievement
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy of your sentences to increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen the arguments in your essay.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide both causes and solutions for the rising youth crime rates, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
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