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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the proportion of people in England who agreed with same-sex marriage from 1989 to 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the proportion of people in England who agreed with same-sex marriage from 1989 to 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given table illustrates the
percentage
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 in England who supported same-gender marriage over a
period
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 of 24 years, from 1989 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in every religion. The noticeable figure was that no religious people accounted for the largest proportion.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was the lowest
percentage
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in
Change preposition
of
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Use synonyms
non-Christian
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non-Christians
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 over the
period
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. Looking at the table in more detail, in 1989, the
percentage
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 of no religious people
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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represented the highest figure, reaching 20%,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of
non-Christian
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 people was the lowest share at 5%. The gap between 2001 and 2007 was seen as minimal differences in Church of England, Roman Catholic, and
non-Christian
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,
while
Linking Words
 there were significant changes in the three countries. Meanwhile, the
percentage
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 of no religion rose steadily from 20% to 77% over the
period
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. the figures for the other religions (Church of England, Roman Catholic, Other Christian, and
Non-Christian
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) climbed consistently over the
period
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. In conclusion, there were considerable shifts that were observed more
three
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than three
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 times than in the past.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, period, non-christian with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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