IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

•Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view.

#•some #people #person #skills #group #activities
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In
these period
Change the determiner
this period
these periods
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 of inflation, many people prefer club exercise to improve their intellectual skills. In another way, some people think the act of getting involved in multi-individual exercise mostly focuses on the advancement of our intellectual abilities. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and the ground for my perspective shall be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
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 the given statement, I firmly believe that association movement require focus and speed, but at the same time, they stimulate the brain to work quickly. To cite an example, Mathematical
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
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 require speed in mental calculation, and some may not have the ability to calculate quickly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students with weak arithmetic abilities may learn how to calculate in different and faster ways. Explaining some of the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 supporting
point
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points
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 in favour of
this
Linking Words
 statement, it is true that class work gives a person the opportunity to evaluate and solve problems,
as well as
Linking Words
 management skills through the use of roles within groups, and assessment skills involved in assessing options to make decisions about their class's final answer. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the notion that class action
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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 intellectual abilities. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.
Submitted by Loody on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your arguments are supported by clear and specific examples. When mentioning 'Mathematical exercises,' provide an example of a group activity where this occurs.
Task Achievement
Clarify your main points. For instance, when discussing 'focus and speed,' explicitly relate this to intellectual skills.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and points. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some phrases and sentences might be clearer. For example, 'In another way' could be changed to 'On the other hand' to better connect contrasting ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction and conclusion, which aids in understanding your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task by providing reasons and examples to support your opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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