Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a refection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

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People
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argue that the changes in many hobbies and interests recently are more likely just seen as temporary trends and fashions rather than what individuals actually like to do in their free
time
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. In
this
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essay, I will explain two reasons behind my behalf agreement and disagreement on
this
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discussion. On the one hand, some individuals may choose the current trending hobbies as their new ones. They find out that
this
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activity seems interesting to them so they leave their old hobby.
For example
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, Indonesia's tourism report shows that the increase in mountain hikers is caused by the emergence of many contents about mountains on the Tiktok.
Hence
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, I can not agree with them because not all
people
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choose their hobby based on the popular one.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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individuals who spend their free
time
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relying on current trending activities. They did not have any interests before,
thus
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, the popularity of some new hobbies may help them.
For instance
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, a recent study shows the number of followers on the influencer social media, Cristiano Ronaldo, engaging
people
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to play soccer in their free
time
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.
This
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shows that for some
people
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, following a trend could be a reasonable choice. In summary, there are benefits and drawbacks to the statement,
such
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as helping
people
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find a new hobby or just being easily influenced by others. I believe it belongs to the individual desire to follow others because they really want it or just because they do not know what to do in their spare
time
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.
Submitted by dorima on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument. However, the explanation of why you partially agree or disagree could be expanded to provide a deeper insight into your stance. This gives room for a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. While the structure is generally clear, the transition between agreeing and disagreeing perspectives can be smoother to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Work on expanding your points with more detailed examples and explanations to support the main arguments more robustly. Each point should be elaborated to show comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a clear introduction, outlining the examination of both sides of the argument, which sets a good foundation for the ensuing discussion.
task achievement
Good use of examples, like the influence of TikTok on hiking and Cristiano Ronaldo on soccer, to illustrate points about changing hobbies and interests.
coherence cohesion
A logical structure is present, dividing the essay into points of agreement and disagreement, allowing the reader to follow the writer's reasoning effectively.
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