Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a refection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People

Use synonyms

argue that the

changing

Fix the agreement mistake

changes

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

many hobbies and interests recently are more likely just seen as temporary trends and fashions rather than what individuals actually like to do in their free

time

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain two reasons behind my behalf agreement and disagreement on

this

Linking Words

discussion. On the one hand, some individuals

maybe

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

choose the current trending hobbies as their new one. They find out that

this

Linking Words

activity

seem

Change the verb form

seems

show examples

interesting to them so they leave their old hobby.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Indonesia's tourism report shows that the increase

Change preposition

show examples

mountain hikers

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

caused by the emergence of many contents about mountains on the Tiktok.

Hence

Linking Words

, I can not agree with them because not all

people

Use synonyms

choose their hobby based on the popular one.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

individuals who

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

their free

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

relying on the current trending activities. They

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not have any interests before,

thus

Linking Words

, the popularity of some new hobbies may help them.

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent study shows the number of followers on the influencer social media, Cristiano Ronaldo, engaging

people

Use synonyms

to play soccer in their free

time

Use synonyms

. In summary, there are benefits and drawbacks

from

Change preposition

show examples

the statement,

such

Linking Words

as helping

people

Use synonyms

find a new hobby or just being easily influenced by others. I believe it

is belong

Change the verb form

belongs

show examples

to the individual desire to follow others because they really want it or just because they do not know what to do in

spare

Correct pronoun usage

their spare

show examples

time

Use synonyms

dorimaTue Jan 21 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improvement

Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement is included in the introduction.

Improvement

Provide more detailed and varied examples to support your points.

Improvement

Try to be more explicit in linking your arguments back to the main topic.

Structure

The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Content

Provides relevant examples from Indonesia's tourism and soccer trends.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.
In these present days, both genders splurge their money on aesthetic treatment, which is quite contrary to the past days. This circumstance becomes common as everyone has a right to take self-care, resulting in a new prospective business and industry.
<4
band
Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public trasnport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Whether money should be spent on public transport sysems like railways and trams or should be invested n motoways and streets is a highly debatable topic. This writer contends that people should take the priority of money investment in street infrastructure rather than public transportation because of preventing traffic congestion and conviniently moving.
5
band
15. You’re interested in a music course that you saw on an advertisement. Write a letter to the club. In your letter, you should: - explain why you’re interested - request more information about the course - talk about your past experiences.
I am writing this letter because I have seen an advertisement regarding music course in the newspapers as I am fond of music and I want to join your club .
<4
band
There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
In this fast changing world people faces multiple emotional and social problems among which outrage and anger are the concerning ones. I believe there are many social factors attached to the cause which i will discuss in upcomming paragraphs.
5.5
band
It is often said that governments spend too much money on wild life protection, while others say that there are other problems that are more important? do you agree or disagree?
Many of the animal species across the world are being driven to extinction by the deforestation,hunting and the climatic changes and as a result government across the globe are allocating more and more funds to preserve and protect animal populations.It is being argued by some people that such spending is unjustified and it could be effectively spent elsewhere, while others think that it is very important for government to spend money on wildlife protection.I am of the opinion that money being spent on wildlife is very important and it has long term benefits.

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a refection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

Word Count

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public trasnport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

15. You’re interested in a music course that you saw on an advertisement. Write a letter to the club. In your letter, you should: - explain why you’re interested - request more information about the course - talk about your past experiences.

There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

It is often said that governments spend too much money on wild life protection, while others say that there are other problems that are more important? do you agree or disagree?