IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government alone cannot be expected to solve environmental problems. It is also the responsibility of businesses and individuals to help. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I strongly agree that solving environmental problems cannot be only the responsibility of the
government
Use synonyms
.
Enterprises
Use synonyms
 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 must
also
Linking Words
 play an important role in protecting our earth. First of all,
enterprises
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact on the
environment
Use synonyms
.The waste and pollution generated by many companies damage our air and water .
Therefore
Linking Words
,it is very important for
enterprises
Use synonyms
 to
dopt
Correct your spelling
adopt
opt
 environmental protection practices.
For example
Linking Words
,companies can reduce waste by using permanent materials and recycling .
In addition
Linking Words
,solar or wind energy.When
enterprises
Use synonyms
 take action to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
,they not only help the earth
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
 improve their reputation and attract more customers.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have the responsibility to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
.Everyone can make some small changes in daily life,but these changes will eventually have a significant impact.Simple actions
such
Linking Words
 as recycling,using public transportation or saving water
an
Correct your spelling
can
show examples
 help reduce our carbon footprint.
In addition
Linking Words
,people can understand environmental problems by themselves and others.By spreading awareness,
individuals
Use synonyms
 can motivate their friends and family to take action.
Although
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in implementing laws and regulations and protecting the
environment
Use synonyms
,it cannot complete
this
Linking Words
 task on its own.The
government
Use synonyms
 can make policies and incentives,but it needs the support of
enterprises
Use synonyms
 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 to be effective. In general,solving environmental problems requires collective efforts.The
government
Use synonyms
,
enterprises
Use synonyms
 and
individuals
Use synonyms
 all play an important role.Through joint efforts,we can create a healthier earth for future generations.Everyone's actions are very important.As long as we work together,we can bring about change.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. This will further clarify your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
For enhanced coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a range of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay and clarify the relationship between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the writer's position, which adds to the coherence and clarity of the response.
coherence cohesion
Main points are logically structured, making the argument easy to follow. Each paragraph focuses on a clear topic.
task response
The response is relevant to the prompt and provides a complete argument on why businesses and individuals, in addition to the government, should take responsibility for environmental issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: