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Band 5.5

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future
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There is debate over
that
Correct pronoun usage
what
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 has the most significant impact on the eventual development
skills
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 of
children
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 ,
while
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 some argue that focusing on specific subjects is better for an ancestors impending.I agree with the latter view On the one hand, it could be argued that paying attention to improving
children
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’s
skills
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 might influence communication and critical thinking .
For instance
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, when
children
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 develop these
skills
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 and apply to a job they can take it without any issues.
In contrast
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, their
skills
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such
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 as communication , critical thinking etc impact our society.
To begin
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 with, Teaching clan
skills
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 when they obtain them at university could be influenced by wildlife ,
thus
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 when they are lost in the forest without assistance and food .
Furthermore
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 , in
this
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 situation, they could survive for a long time compared with
children
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 who concentrate on the liable . Despite these arguments,
i
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I
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 believe that schools should be held accountable for the future and real
life
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's existence for two main reasons. The first thing is releasing real activity
due to
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children
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 begin concentrating on real
life
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 rather than
life
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 in the cartoon .
Moreover
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 , when
children
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 realise that the future is not toys but is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 significant thing in the world .
On the other hand
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 , Having a special subject at school is useful and
children
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 will be prepared for a difficult
life
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,
For instance
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 when they left wallet at home some could worry that don’t have money for payment but other research solutions on how to leave
this
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 moment . In conclusion, Paying attention to exploring new
skills
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 at school takes a long time but it doesn’t make that special subject a significant thing
Submitted by mesney.2008 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and ensure that each point connects smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Elaborate more on each point with more relevant examples or evidence to support your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify your arguments and make sure each idea is expressed clearly and thoroughly.
task achievement
The essay indicates knowledge of the topic and presents two sides of the argument.
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