IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think that the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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Government
Fix the agreement mistake
Governments
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 in certain countries are aiding the relocation of industries from city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 to
surbabs
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 because of the growing issues in housing and transportation. In my opinion, I feel the benefits of
this
Linking Words
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
 outshines the setbacks. The main advantage is that
this
Linking Words
 decision would help in the development of
surban
Correct your spelling
suburban
areas
Use synonyms
. Most infrastructures in the cities were established because of the presence of industries within them,
as a result
Linking Words
, the migration of enterprises to rural places would encourage growth in
such
Linking Words
 locations. To illustrate, in Nigeria, some universities were built in villages;
therefore
Linking Words
, health
centers
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centres
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 and banks were
also
Linking Words
 erected in
such
Linking Words
 places because of the students.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to the development of these villages. Another benefit is that it can help resolve overcrowding
of
Change preposition
in
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 cities.
Due to
Linking Words
 the movement of companies, workers and their family members move out of urban
areas
Use synonyms
;
hence
Linking Words
, reducing the population of urban
areas
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there would be no need for unemployed villagers to migrate to the cities as there are job opportunities near their homes.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there can be downsides to
this
Linking Words
 development, one of which is pollution. The resettlement of industries in rural
areas
Use synonyms
 can lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase in waste released by these companies or their workers. To illustrate, the movement of a cement factory to
arural
Correct your spelling
a rural
rural
 area can cause a rise in carbon waste which can pollute the environment of that area. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of business relocation to rural
areas
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages as I feel that an increase in the growth of
surban
Correct your spelling
suburban
areas
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 and depopulation of urban places overrides the pollution that might occur.

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Task Response
Ensure the essay addresses all parts of the task adequately. You did well in presenting the main argument, but ensure to explore both sides of the argument equally.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by making sure each paragraph logically follows from the last. Your essay flows well overall, but some transitions could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve flow.
General Language Advice
Some minor grammatical errors and typos are present, such as 'surban' instead of 'suburban' and some missing articles. Ensure you thoroughly proofread to eliminate these small mistakes.
Task Response
The introduction clearly states your position and provides context for the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion that reiterates your main argument.
Task Response
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which enhances the quality of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-urban migration
  • economic decentralization
  • congestion alleviation
  • infrastructure improvements
  • quality of life
  • operating costs
  • balanced economic growth
  • logistical challenges
  • talent pool
  • skilled labor
  • decentralizing business operations
  • cost of living
  • pollution reduction
  • job creation
  • economic development
  • supply chain management
  • urbanization pressure
  • lifestyle changes
  • distribution networks
  • local residents
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