The pie charts below show the frequency of snacking in children while playing electronic games. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #frequency #children #games #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts below illustrate the commonness of snacking in kids, during digital game playing, in the year 2009 than in 2019.

Overall

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it is clear that

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a noticeable change occurred in 2019 compared to 2009, as the Conventional

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percentage dramatically dropped moving to more modernized ways.

To begin

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with, in 2009, eating

while

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watching Conventional

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was common among youth with more than 30%. Laptop came after with exactly 20%,

then

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Desktop computer and Mobile phone with 18% and 15% respectively.

While

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the remaining two: Flat-screen TVs, and Tablets, were uncommon back

then

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with less than 10%. Ten years ahead, in 2019, we can notice that children are no longer interested in Conventional

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, which resulted in a significant decline to only 4% and replaced with flat-screen

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which took over , with 27%. portable devices became more popular at

this

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time, Mobile phone and Tablet percentages rocketed and rose to 26% and 19% respectively. The

last

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two remaining factors were both Desktop and Laptop computers with the same rate at 12%

Submitted by hf87654 on Fri Jan 24 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

174 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

frequency
dominant
category
contrast
trend
common
rare
snack
habits
patterns
lifestyle
health consciousness
gaming habits
observed
unexpected
noticeable

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The pie charts below show the frequency of snacking in children while playing electronic games. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a job, others believe that it would be better to gain experience first. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child’s development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?