IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four different mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.

The chart below shows the average cost of monthly contract for four different mobile (cell phones) in a European country from January to September 2002, measured in euro.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line grave gives information about the monthly contract and how much it
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 for four
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of mobile (Alpha, Lex, Sim TX, Domo) in one year (2002). Units are
masured
Correct your spelling
measured
 by
euro
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, what
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 out from the graph is that all three phones (Domo, Lix, Sim TX) had an
upword
Correct your spelling
upward
 trend,
while
Linking Words
Alpha
Correct article usage
the Alpha
show examples
 phone
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a
downword
Correct your spelling
downward
 trend. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the average cost of
monthly
Add an article
the monthly
a monthly
show examples
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
show examples
 for Domo
mobile
Capitalize word
Mobile
show examples
 started at 15
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased slightly to more than 15
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
. after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it decreased to almost 15
euro
Use synonyms
 in April,
befor
Correct your spelling
before
 it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady for
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 months (May, Jun) at 20
erou
Correct your spelling
euro
. But, it had
fall
Change the verb form
fallen
show examples
 to about 25
euro
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period.
likewise
Linking Words
, Lix mobile started at just under 15
euro
Use synonyms
 in Jan
then
Linking Words
 it went up until it reached 25
euro
Use synonyms
 in December. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Sim TX, it
Add a missing verb
is considred
show examples
considred
Correct your spelling
considered
 the lowest cost among other companies,
began
Wrong verb form
beginning
show examples
 at 5
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in
january
Change the capitalization
January
show examples
, and
then
Linking Words
it rose
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 significantly to about 5
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in April.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 which
pint
Correct your spelling
point
show examples
 it had a dramatic increase until it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
apeak
Correct article usage
a apeak
show examples
 of 25
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Alpha
mobile
Capitalize word
Mobile
show examples
 was the only company who had a decline all over the period,
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 at almost 10
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in January, and
ended
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
 below 10
Use synonyms
euro
Fix the agreement mistake
euros
show examples
 in December.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words euro with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: