The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two towns. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below describe 4 sectors of employment, in 2009 and 2020, in two towns. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate
description
Correct article usage
a description
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of employment sectors (manufacturing , hospitality, engineering and teaching) from 2009 to 2020 in Town B.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the pie charts is that there is
Correct article usage
an upwarad
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upwarad
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upward
upwards
trend in employment in Town B for
manufacturing
Add an article
the manufacturing
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sector,
while
Linking Words
engineering
remaind
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remained
remains
remain
the same. Looking at the details, in 2009, manufacturing
were
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was
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the most popular employment sector at 40%.
This
Linking Words
is followed by
engineering
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the engineering
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field, accounting for 35%. Hospitality has ranked the third major that has acquired
talants
Correct your spelling
talents
at 15%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The
lowesr
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lower
lowest
sector was teaching, which employed only 10%. Moving to 2020, manufacturing experienced a significant decline to approximately
a
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apply
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half at 25%, which means people did not be
intersted
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interested
in
this
Linking Words
field. The number of engineers
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remained
remain
remaind
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remained
the same at 35% and Hospitality increased to 20%
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the number of teachers has increased
about
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by about
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10% by 2020 In conclusion, I believe that the main factor for these
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
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trends is the government's investments in some sectors.
Submitted by Hanan on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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