the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
Currently, we have 5 working
days
and 2 Use synonyms
days
for holidays. Some Use synonyms
people
suggest that weekdays could be Use synonyms
minimize
and more Wrong verb form
minimised
days
for the weekend. I agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because it can decrease the Linking Words
worker
stress Use synonyms
rate
and improve productivity Use synonyms
on
the working Change preposition
during
week
.
On the one hand, nowadays most Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
the
workers experience a very stressful condition, but they transform into a more emotionally stable condition if there are more Correct article usage
apply
holiday
. It is because Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
people
Use synonyms
willing
to refresh their Add a missing verb
are willing
mind
from the problems they figure out on weekdays and far from the computer which they Fix the agreement mistake
minds
faced
daily. Wrong verb form
face
For example
, a highway company held a trial for 4 working Linking Words
days
, Use synonyms
Linking Words
as
a result, the staff’s stress Correct word choice
and as
rate
Use synonyms
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
for
about 50 Change preposition
by
percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
Hence
, Linking Words
Correct article usage
a shorther
shorther
working Correct your spelling
shorter
week
will make Use synonyms
Use synonyms
worker
happier and less Fix the agreement mistake
workers
stressful
.
Replace the word
stressed
On the other hand
, Linking Words
less
working Correct quantifier usage
fewer
days
Use synonyms
leads
to a more productive Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
worker
Use synonyms
on
the working Change preposition
during
week
. It is Use synonyms
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
due to
an inefficient way to manage the time for doing their responsibilities with Linking Words
this
current phase. Linking Words
For instance
, in 2019, Linking Words
a
research from the United States mentioned that Remove the article
apply
people
who work 5 Use synonyms
days
per Use synonyms
week
were less productive on Monday (only 20% productive time) and Friday (approximately 5% productivity), but eventually they could finish the same number of task on 4 Use synonyms
days
of working. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
people
need one more holiday between those 5 Use synonyms
days
, Use synonyms
therefore
4 effective Linking Words
days
of working is more productive on each day.
In conclusion, the minimum working time is proposed Use synonyms
from
workers, Change preposition
for
hence
they could have a longer holiday. I agree with Linking Words
this
idea because Linking Words
in
my opinion, it could reduce the Add the comma(s)
, in
rate
of stress and grow the productivity Use synonyms
rate
of the Use synonyms
worker
.Use synonyms
Submitted by handini.yuniarti on
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Language
Consider improving grammatical accuracy for a clearer expression of ideas. There are minor grammatical errors, such as "It is happen due to" should be "It happens due to."
Vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary to enhance your writing. Some phrases are repeated, and synonyms or varied expressions could enhance readability and interest.
Structure
You have clearly introduced the topic and your position, along with summarizing your main arguments effectively in both the introduction and conclusion.
Examples
Good examples are provided to illustrate your ideas, such as the reference to the highway company trial and the 2019 US research. These examples support your claims effectively.
Organization
Your essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs and transition words, making it easy to follow your argument.