IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows the expenditure on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria from1995 to 2005.

The graph shows the expenditure on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria from1995 to 2005.
#expenditure #books #germany #france #austria #from1995
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at the graph provided reveals the expenditure on
books
Use synonyms
 in Germany, France, Italy and Austria
from1995
Correct your spelling
from 1995
 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that all nations saw negligible increase throughout the
whole-time
Correct your spelling
whole time
show examples
 frame.
To begin
Linking Words
, the money spent on
books
Use synonyms
 in France and
Itly
Correct your spelling
Italy
 followed a fairly similar pattern over the decade, remaining at between: 50 and 80
million
Use synonyms
 US dollars. If we look at Austria, which began with the lowest expenditure at just under 30
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995, experienced steady growth over the next 6 years,
then
Linking Words
 the figure climbed sharply, rocketing to approximately 70
million
Use synonyms
 by 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Germany
Correct your spelling
consistently
consistenly
Correct your spelling
consistently
 spent the most on
books
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. Starting
ot
Correct your spelling
at
 80
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995,
then
Linking Words
 the figure rose gradually,
peoning
Correct your spelling
penning
phoning
opening
 at nearly as
million
Use synonyms
 by 2005, maintaining its dominance over the other nations.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the expenditure on
books
Use synonyms
 for all nations
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
generally
climbing trend
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
 over the entire duration except Italy, its figure saw fluctuation between 1995 and 2001 before growing gradually toward the end of the period
Submitted by enkjnbat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: