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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart provides key
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 about the amount of
citizen's
Change noun form
citizens
show examples
sat
Correct your spelling
at
show examples
 the age
65
Change preposition
of 65
show examples
 and
abouve
Correct your spelling
above
 in 3 nations (
USA
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 ), from 1940 to 2040 . Measured in percentages .
Overall
Linking Words
,it is clear from the graph that
Japan
Use synonyms
 shows
decline
Correct article usage
a decline
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 three years .
In addition
Linking Words
,
Sweden
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 and
USA
Use synonyms
fluctuatid
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuate
fluctuating
 over the years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Japan
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1940 , was
including
Wrong verb form
included
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 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
. And
then
Linking Words
 it
drop
Change the verb form
drops
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
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 the years 1960,1980 and 2000, about 3%. After that
in
Correct your spelling
it
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 increased to a very high point
at
Change preposition
apply
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tha
Correct your spelling
the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 2040 , at nearly 27
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
The USA
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 at close to 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
, in 1940 . And
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated in the
year
Use synonyms
 1980 and
sudnley
Correct your spelling
suddenly
 it went
uppward
Correct your spelling
upward
upwards
 nearly 24% in 2040. In the
turmes
Correct your spelling
times
 of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 , it fluctuated
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the period,
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
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 about nearly 6 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1940, and
ends
Wrong verb form
ending
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 at 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2040.
To sum up
Linking Words
 we could say that
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Sweden
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 close in the
year
Use synonyms
 1940 with a
litle
Correct your spelling
little
diffrent
Correct your spelling
difference of
 about 3% . And
Japan
Use synonyms
 was the highest in 2040.
Submitted by serenhamad3 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, sweden, japan, year, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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