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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below provides information about the growth of urban population in certain parts of the world including future prediction. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below provides information about the growth of urban population in certain parts of the world including future prediction. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #growth #population #parts #world #future #prediction #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart
iullstrates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 information about the development
if
Correct your spelling
of
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 urban
population
Use synonyms
 in specific parts of the world which are
Africa
Use synonyms
, Asia, and Latin America in 1950, 2000, 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, it's obvious that the share saw in 1950 the lowest number
between
Change preposition
among
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 all the countries in
Africa
Use synonyms
 with 10%,
in
Linking Words
contrast
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contrast,
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 Latin America witnessed the highest
Correct your spelling
proportion
prportion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 with 80% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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, as well the whole world in 1950 saw a decrease in proportion with 10% and in 2030 there is a clear increase with 60%.
Africa
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 continent saw the lowest decline of their
population
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 in 1950 whilst in Asia it was a little bit higher
of
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at
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 around 11%,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 a massive increase of 40% in 2000 in both continents
while
Linking Words
 in 2030 Asia was higher
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 around 55% more than
Africa
Use synonyms
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 achieved exactly 50%. Latin
Africa
Use synonyms
 was the highest continent of urban
population
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 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all three years. It saw a good share of around 40% in 1950, as well it scored a massive jump of 70% in 2000 and reached
to
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apply
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the highest point
between
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among
show examples
 all the countries in 2030 with 80% of
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nada.al.aoufan on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, africa with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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