In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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There are many relocations from the outskirt populations, moving into the
cities
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, resulting
as
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in
show examples
less population around
Correct article usage
the coutryside
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coutryside
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countryside
. Many people believe that it is an effective development for their
cities
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,
while
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other
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others
show examples
may argue that it is a drawback for general society.
This
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essay believes that
the
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apply
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moving
lead
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leads
show examples
to negative aspects because it
is rising
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raises
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many obstacles for
individual
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individuals
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who
dicide
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decide
to move into the
cities
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. Moving into the city, which consists
many
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of many
show examples
businesses and services, enhances the greater opportunities for
persuing
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pursuing
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the
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apply
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jobs for
individual
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individuals
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than
who
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those who
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lives
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live
show examples
in
the
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apply
show examples
under-developed
area
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areas
show examples
.
For instance
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, there are many restaurants, which
alway
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always
requie
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require
working staff, on every corner of the street. They could grow their wealth during
working
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the working
show examples
period.
On the other hand
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, they have to face many challenges,
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
cost
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the cost
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of living, which is higher than
rural
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in rural
show examples
area
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areas
show examples
, and the lively city inevitably
connect
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connects
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with
stressful
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a stressful
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environment. People who
relocates
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relocate
show examples
into
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to
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the
cities
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has
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have
show examples
to abandon their land, facing
with
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
loneliness. They have to leave their family, friends, and pets, at their former place, and
this
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reason increases
the
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their
show examples
mental health issues for them.
Moreover
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, numerous
lifes
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lives
show examples
in the
cities
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are causing serious pollution.
For instance
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, the
congestions
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congestion
show examples
from traffic, which is from
the
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apply
show examples
personal car usage, and the air pollution from their
car's
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car
show examples
emission
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emissions
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
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moving into the
cities
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creates many chances for personal asset development, there are many critical
problem
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problems
show examples
hiding behind the beautiful angles. The negative reasons
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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totally
outweigth
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
the positive.
Submitted by rutkittiphot on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the question clearly and completely. Discuss both positive and negative aspects more evenly to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with your structure: Start with an introduction that outlines your main points, followed by cohesive paragraphs that expand on these points, and conclude with a strong and clear summary.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize different ideas or arguments. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and follow logically from the one before.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies key arguments for why moving to cities can be negative, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument.
coherence cohesion
Efforts to include examples, such as job opportunities and pollution, indicate an attempt to connect ideas with real-world scenarios.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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