Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are different views about a career. A group of inhabitants think that the best way to have a successful job is

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by studiying

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studiying

Correct your spelling

studying

at university,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe that they should have worked directly after high school. From my perspective, I would argue that

population

Correct article usage

the population

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ought to go to college or university. On the one hand, some people think that

workingstraightly

Correct your spelling

working straightly

is better than studying in an educational institution. There are two reasons for that. First and foremost, they will have enough experience. Namely, based on studies conducted by experts in the field, the policeman has more knowledge in their work because they work more years.

Secondly

Linking Words

, They become more independent. To illustrate, they might build a family.

Thus

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, they would be responsible for their children and wives.

On the other hand

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, I support the view that pupils should complete their studies in academic institutions rather than

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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. Because qualifications can open

door

Correct article usage

the door

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to a better job opportunity.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they may earn a higher salary.

Consequently

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, they will be able to find accommodation and pay bills.

Furthermore

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, learners will learn a new language

for instance

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English language. Which will assist them to communicate with other workers who are from a variety of nations. In conclusion,

while

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there are some causes to believe that students should have a career after finishing study, my own view is that it is better to study at a university or even college.

MemmmSun Jan 26 2025

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on providing smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to achieve a seamless flow.

task achievement

For task achievement, ensure that examples and ideas are directly related to your main argument and explore them in greater detail.

coherence cohesion

The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic with a clear stance, fulfilling the basic requirement of presenting an introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

The task is approached with a clear understanding of the topic, and the writer provides a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

Some people think that governments should invest mainly in making public transportation faster while other think there are more important priorities (cost, the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase fuel costs for cars and other means of transportation. Do you agree or disagree?