In many countries around the world, young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples.

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It is a common belief that younger

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

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start living

theirselves

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themselves

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or sharing a house with peers is a bad expansion.

However

Linking Words

, there is a more persuasive argument that

unold

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the old

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crowd

start

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starting

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living on their own or sharing an apartment with

buddys

Correct your spelling

buddies

is a good advancement because it engages isolate

power

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the power

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of students. On the one hand, there

are

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the opposite discussion about

this

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topic since harmful issues. To illustrate, in the case of living alone, there are a lot of

risk

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risks

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rather than living with family, and

then

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, there are

possibility

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possibilities

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about

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show examples

crime when sharing with partners.

For example

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, a recent study conducted by the National Institute of Social Studies in 2021 revealed that individuals living alone are 30% more likely to experience feelings of loneliness and anxiety compared to those living with family.

In addition

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, a survey conducted by the Global Housing Research Institute found that sharing accommodation with peers led to a 25% increase in reported conflicts and misunderstandings over a five-year period.

Nevertheless

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, I support the

ideaview

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idea

that students start living on their own or inhibiting with friends is

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apply

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adequate progress because it engages

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the isolate

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isolate

Wrong verb form

isolated

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power of students.

Additionally

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, as

family

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the family

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grew up, they should be living alone.

Additionally

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, personal space is pretty important. In fact, a 2022 survey by the Youth Independence Organization highlighted that 70% of young adults who live independently reported higher levels of confidence and problem-solving skills compared to those who stayed with their parents.

Furthermore

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, a psychological study conducted by Oxford University found that individuals who live alone enjoy 40% more personal time, allowing them to focus better on self-improvement and career development. In conclusion,

while

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it is apparent that young public start living on their own or sharing a condominium with

companion

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a companion

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is a sad adulthood, it is undeniable that young

nation

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nations

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start living on their own or sharing a dwelling with friends is a suitable advance.

lviebaiSun Jan 26 2025

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task achievement

The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of young people living independently, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement to guide the reader. Try to clearly state your main argument in the introduction.

task achievement

There are some effective uses of examples and data to support your claims, but these should be more directly linked to your argument in some places. Ensure all examples directly back your main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion; however, transitions between ideas sometimes lack clarity, which can confuse readers. Enhance coherence by using more connecting words or phrases.

coherence cohesion

The presence of some repetitive phrases (e.g., "start living on their own") may disrupt the flow. Try to vary your language to maintain reader engagement.

task achievement

The essay makes a commendable effort to utilize statistics and surveys to illustrate points, which strengthens the argument and shows research skills.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the general argument, ensuring the main idea is communicated well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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In many countries around the world, young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that art, such as painting and music, does not improve people’s lives, so the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Nuclear power is far too dangerous; therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this problem be solved?

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?