In many countries around the world, young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answers and include relevant examples.

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It is a common belief that younger
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities

It seems that community may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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start living
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves

The word theirselves doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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or sharing a house with peers is a bad expansion.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a more persuasive argument that
unold
Correct word choice
the old

There may be an adjective issue here.

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crowd
start
Wrong verb form
starting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb start. Consider changing it.

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living on their own or sharing an apartment with
buddys
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buddies

If you don’t want buddys to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is a good advancement because it engages isolate
power
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the power

The noun phrase power seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of students. On the one hand, there
are
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is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject the opposite discussion. Consider changing the verb form.

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the opposite discussion about
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

topic since harmful issues. To illustrate, in the case of living alone, there are a lot of
risk
Change to a plural noun
risks

The singular countable noun risk follows the quantifier lot, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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rather than living with family, and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are
possibility
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possibilities

It seems that possibility may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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about
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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crime when sharing with partners.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a recent study conducted by the National Institute of Social Studies in 2021 revealed that individuals living alone are 30% more likely to experience feelings of loneliness and anxiety compared to those living with family.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a survey conducted by the Global Housing Research Institute found that sharing accommodation with peers led to a 25% increase in reported conflicts and misunderstandings over a five-year period.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I support the
ideaview
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idea

If you don’t want ideaview to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

that students start living on their own or inhibiting with friends is
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun progress in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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adequate progress because it engages
Correct article usage
the isolate

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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isolate
Wrong verb form
isolated

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb isolate. Consider changing it.

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power of students.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, as
family
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the family

The noun phrase family seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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grew up, they should be living alone.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, personal space is pretty important. In fact, a 2022 survey by the Youth Independence Organization highlighted that 70% of young adults who live independently reported higher levels of confidence and problem-solving skills compared to those who stayed with their parents.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a psychological study conducted by Oxford University found that individuals who live alone enjoy 40% more personal time, allowing them to focus better on self-improvement and career development. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is apparent that young public start living on their own or sharing a condominium with
companion
Add an article
a companion

The noun phrase companion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is a sad adulthood, it is undeniable that young
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations

It seems that nation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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start living on their own or sharing a dwelling with friends is a suitable advance.

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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative aspects of young people living independently, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement to guide the reader. Try to clearly state your main argument in the introduction.
task achievement
There are some effective uses of examples and data to support your claims, but these should be more directly linked to your argument in some places. Ensure all examples directly back your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion; however, transitions between ideas sometimes lack clarity, which can confuse readers. Enhance coherence by using more connecting words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
The presence of some repetitive phrases (e.g., "start living on their own") may disrupt the flow. Try to vary your language to maintain reader engagement.
task achievement
The essay makes a commendable effort to utilize statistics and surveys to illustrate points, which strengthens the argument and shows research skills.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the general argument, ensuring the main idea is communicated well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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