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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below shows the centre of a small town called Islip as it now, and plans for its development. Kadirkhan Zhazira.

The maps below shows the centre of a small town called Islip as it now, and plans for its development. Kadirkhan Zhazira.
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The map gives information about the centre of a little township called Islip and its scheme in the present and how it will evolve in the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is worth noticing that
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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present there are only a few areas for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several people.
However
Linking Words
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 the metropolis will evolve.
According
Add the preposition
According to
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this
Linking Words
, there will be numerous facilities and a larger population. Now, turning to the details, nowadays the main road goes through Islip from west to east, with shops lining both sides of the avenue.
Besides
Linking Words
, the countryside is situated to the north side of the shops. Two smaller roads branch off the main road, one leading to the school in the southwest;
similiarly
Correct your spelling
similarly
, the other to the park in the southeast. Houses are established between the small roads. Over the years, a dual carriageway will encircle the town
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. At the
center
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centre
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 of the hamlet, a bus station, shopping centre, and car park will be constructed where the store used to be.
However
Linking Words
, the other shops will
be remain
Change the verb form
remain
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,
likewise
Linking Words
, the school. On top of the store will be a
pedestrians
Change the noun form
pedestrian
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 area only for walking. The park
the
Add a missing verb
is the
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 same, but it will shrink in size.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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