IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The process below shows the production of sugar by a German company for supermarkets and restaurants. Zhaina

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The diagram below illustrates the manufacture of
sugar
Use synonyms
 by a German farmer for supermarkets and
for
Change preposition
apply
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restaurants.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a man-made, cyclical process which has 8 stages, some equipment and only one resource.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the whole process starts with sugarcane harvest in tropical regions and
then
Linking Words
 ends with delivery to markets and restaurants.
To begin
Linking Words
, with sugarcane harvest which is the main resource of
this
Linking Words
 product and after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 they collect juice by crusher.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 steps are partial filtration to collect raw
sugar
Use synonyms
 from German shipment, completing purification
though
Correct your spelling
through
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 melting and filtering these ingredients.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after a long process of melting and filtering the sugarcane they will crystallize from
sugar
Use synonyms
 syrup later
this
Linking Words
 extract will dry the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
stage
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stages
Add a comma
stages,
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this
Linking Words
 ready product will
packaging
Wrong verb form
be packaged
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 and
then
Linking Words
 delivering these products to supermarkets,stores or
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
restaurants.

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task achievement
Try to enhance the clarity of the manufacturing steps. Mention each step clearly, and avoid skipping intermediate processes.
coherence cohesion
Concentrate on using more cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Consider concluding with a recap of the process or a final thought to strengthen your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the process and sets the context well.
task achievement
The essay covers each major step in sugar production, reflecting an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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