IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many organizations have their own regulations that show their values. Those regulations sometimes involve dress codes that their
employees
Use synonyms
 must follow. Some companies require their
employees
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 to dress in a certain style
while
Linking Words
 others don'
t
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. Big chain companies like
Mcdonalds
Fix the agreement mistake
McDonald
show examples
, KFC, and Starbucks have their own uniforms that the
employees
Use synonyms
 must wear
while
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 giving service to the customers. Every member of staff wearing the same clothes looks put together and makes it easier for customers to recognize
employees
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.
Furthermore
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, it can
also
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 affect positively the branding of the company. To give an example, seeing a well-known uniform can remind a person of their company's products and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
service.
On the contrary
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, Companies that
don'tt
Correct your spelling
don't
 have dress codes are mostly positions that
don'tt
Correct your spelling
don't
 require you to communicate with lots of people.
For example
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, delivery drivers, construction workers, freelancers, and remote workers. What they wear doesn'
t
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 have anything to do with them completing their duty. So their employers don'
t
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 care as long as they do their job.
Finally
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, businesses should decide whether they require their workers to wear certain outfits or not based on the position they are offering. If they are offering positions like a waiter, they should be regulated on the outfit they are wearing.
Whereas
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 positions like fisherman shouldn'
t
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.

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task achievement
To improve your essay, consider providing more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could elaborate on how dress codes impact employee productivity or customer perceptions.
task achievement
Try to elaborate on the points you're making. For example, you could discuss the psychological effects of wearing a uniform on employees or the freedom non-uniform environments offer.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You kept a good balance between the two sides of the argument by providing examples related to both points of view.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion, which meets the task requirements.
task achievement
Your writing contains clear and comprehensive ideas, especially in explaining the associations between dress code and company roles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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